Tag Archives: forgiveness tunnel

Do You Need the Forgiveness Tunnel?

Here’s a video of this Forgiveness Tunnel reflection I did for St. Matthew Catholic Church in 2018. 

When my daughter, Mollie used the expression. “He got on my last nerve,” I laughed and laughed. It’s such a funny expression.

However, if you are angry with someone because they hurt you, it is not a funny situation for you. It can become a funny situation. However, it can also end up festering your heart and soul for years. It’s a choice. Forgiving and letting go of the anger is not always easy. It’s hard to forgive someone when he undoubtedly touched a nerve and ticked you off.

You may have to go through the Forgiveness Tunnel. Not just once, but maybe more than one time. Years after I think I’ve forgiven and forgotten a misgiving, an event or thought may trigger a memory. I find myself angry all over again. So I have to go through what I call the Forgiveness Tunnel again.

If things are mixed up in your mind, pray about it. Ask God to help you let go of the anger and hatred attached to the anger.  Many times fear is sandwiched in with the anger and the hatred. Feelings of confusion, thoughts of getting revenge, and a myriad of unkind actions may permeate your mind.

Sometimes we get angry over things that are what I call the “grandfather effect.” They’ve happened before. This is a repeat offense. In this case you are dealing with layers of hurt…old wounds that are opened up by new pain and suffering. Past visions and videos show on the walls of the tunnel as you go through. You hear the voices all over again. The pain comes back.

Remind yourself of the scripture: Forgive my brother 70 x 7 times: http://www.biblehub.com/matthew/18-22.htm
The Unforgiving Servant

  • Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother who sins against me? Up to seven times?”
  • Jesus answered, “I tell you, not just seven times, but seventy times seven times!

That equals 490 times.

How to go through the Forgiveness Tunnel

1. Pray.
2. Read your favorite scripture.
3, Read a story of forgiveness: A Story of Two Brothers
4. Watch a funny movie or a sad movie. Laughing so hard that you cry, or crying in sympathy with others on the screen may equalize your emotions and allow you to let go easier.

5. Write a letter to the person who offended you. Don’t send it. Just write it. Then write a reply from them to you. It’s amazing what you come up with. Tear up both letters into tiny pieces.  Put it in three different trash cans so that it won’t get back together again.

6. Drink a glass or two of water.

7. Dig a hole in the ground and plant a flower in it. You can also get a pot and put dirt in it. Make sure your hands get in and feel the dirt. Plant the seed or a small plant. When it blooms, know that your love and cooperation with nature made it possible.  Playing in the dirt or sand is grounding. So go to the beach if you can and play in the sand. Work in your garden.

8. Remember the times someone forgave you. Remember the love God has for you. Remember those who surround you with their love. Feel yourself being filled with God’s love. 

9. Pray again.

10. If you’re able to talk to the person, tell them you forgive them and that you hold them responsible for their behavior and that God is their judge.

11. Take a walk.

12. I’m sure you’ll think of other ways to help you forgive. It will really end up helping you more than you would ever believe.

13. Why should you forgive? What’s in it for you?  Mayo Clinic Staff gives the following rewards for forgiving your brother: 
“Letting go of grudges and bitterness can make way for improved health and peace of mind. Forgiveness can lead to:

  • Healthier relationships
  • Improved mental health
  • Less anxiety, stress and hostility
  • Lower blood pressure
  • Fewer symptoms of depression
  • A stronger immune system
  • Improved heart health
  • Improved self-esteem

Here’s a video I made for St. Matthew Catholic Church for a Lenten Reflection for March 7, 2019. You can watch it on Facebook:

  1. Facebook https://www.facebook.com/stmatthewcatholic/videos/802409596786248/

Article in which I first wrote about the Forgiveness Tunnel in January, 2016:

Joan Y. Edwards. “Let Anger and Frustration Go:” https://www.joanyedwards.com/let-anger-and-frustration-go/

Other Resources

  1. 6 Bible Verses to Help Forgive Someone Who Hurt You
  2. Mayo Clinic – Forgiveness https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/forgiveness/art-20047692
  3. The Hope Line – How to Forgive https://www.thehopeline.com/how-to-forgive
  4. Psychology Today: How Do You Forgive Even When It Feels Impossible-Part 1
  5. Psychology Today: How Do You Forgive Even When It Feels Impossible-Part 2
  6. Tiny Buddha: How to Forgive Someone When It’s Hard- 30 Tips to Let Go of Anger
  7. Tiny Buddha: 20 Things to Do When You’re Feeling Angry with Someone

Songs to Help You Forgive

I’d love to hear from you. What helps you forgive?


What? You’re not subscribed to my blog? Receive free gifts. Subscribe now. Join 700,000 visitors. You’ll be sent an email to confirm your subscription. Thank you.


Never Give Up
Joan Y. Edwards, Author
Copyright © 2018 Joan Y. Edwards
Flip Flap Floodle Will this little duck’s song save him from Mr. Fox?
Joan’s Elder Care Guide A guide to help caregivers and elders find solutions.

Let Anger and Frustration Go

Forgiveness Tunnel – Let it go
7371255620834 www.morguefile.com

“Let the Anger and Frustration Go” by Joan Y. Edwards

Don’t live in the past. Let go of the hurts and the frustrations of the past. Rejoice and celebrate little and big things in the present.
In the first 30 minutes of the following video, Joel Osteen gives you wonderful reasons to

  • let it drop
  • leave it, and
  • let it go.

Sometimes I think I’ve let something go, and I start to tell someone about this event that happened many moons ago. Yikes, I thought I’d forgiven that event. But, the fact that I resurrected it, means I need to go through the forgiveness tunnel again. In my mind, this is where you let things go, you drop them in the tunnel as you come up through it, and let it go, leaving the tunnel and all that hurt behind.
The Forgiveness Tunnel is like a garbage disposal. It tears stuff up into little pieces and makes it where you can’t determine what was in there. It takes all the negative emotions out and all their negative energy. It levels everything. All the trash and garbage disappears. When you turn around and look back, nothing looks different. However, it feels different in your heart. You feel lighter and happier.

There’s only one thing that can bring it all back. The human emotional memory card. It has video capabilities from years and years of experience.

You get to choose what you focus your thoughts, words, and actions on. Knowing I have a choice doesn’t seem to make it any easier to let go of things that bother or bothered me. I think it’s the fact that I’m human.

I discover that I need to go through the Forgiveness Tunnel again. Everyone’s Forgiveness Tunnel looks different.

Once you find a way to let go and forgive a situation, it is very freeing. It feels wonderful. You feel this big load is no longer on your shoulders or on top of your head.

It’s easier to let go when it’s the first time this has happened to you. To me, it gets harder to let go when the experience has what I call the “Grandfather effect.” When it’s happened before many times, it seems your psyche, your inner self has layer upon layer upon layer of emotional hurt to unload, forgive, and let go.

When you carry around anger, hurt, and other emotions with you and run the videos of what happened again and again, it’s like being on a merry-go-round and you want to get off. You don’t realize that this anger, hurt, and other stuff you’re carrying around from the past is hurting you. It’s keeping you from a clear focus on the present and steady movement towards your goals in the future.

All that stress makes it difficult for your body to heal and mend itself.

Many times you need help to truly let go and not want to control other people…make them do it the way you want. Ask God to help you.

In the following post, Mary L Kupferle explains how “God Will Show You How:” https://www.joanyedwards.com/god-will-show-you-how-by-mary-l-kupferle-public-domain/

Sometimes talking to a friend can help you change your focus in a healthier, more positive direction.

Sometimes believing it’s possible to let go of these hurts, makes it easier.

Sometimes a movie or a song has a message to help us let go and to see things in a different way.

God forgives you. God shares his mercy with you! Share his mercy with other person. Walk through that Forgiveness Tunnel and leave all that hurt behind.

A song that’s been popular since 2013 when Disney released the movie Frozen says, “Let It Go.” This is a song from Disney’s 2013 animated feature film Frozen. husband-and-wife songwriting team Kristen Anderson-Lopez and Robert Lopez composed its music and lyrics:

Here’s a sing-along version here:

Thanks for reading my blog.

Never Give Up
Joan Y. Edwards
Copyright © 2016 Joan Y. Edwards