All posts by Joan Y Edwards

Joan Y. Edwards is author/illustrator of folktale Flip Flap Floodle, a happy little duck who never gives up on his song even in the Mr. Fox's belly. She is author of 4RV Publishing's Joan's Elder Care Guide. It is full of practical hints and resources to promote healing and make caregiving easier. She has published 80 Gospel-Based Crossword Puzzles for Year A, B, and C. She has a Master of Education. She is a member of the Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators (SCBWI) and Charlotte Writers Club. She enjoys watching humorous mysteries, like Columbo and Monk. Time at home, beach and mountain with family and friends energizes her..

Sound Words Add Punch to Writing and Conversation

woman with eyes looking to right with right hand cupped to ear listening
Thank you for letting me use this image, Morguefile.

“Sound Words Add Punch to Writing and Conversation” by Joan Y. Edwards

Swish! The door closed quickly behind me.
The little girl squished between her parents at the theatre.
Yada, yada, yada. The latecomers went on and on with their excuses.

Onomatopoeia is a figure of speech used when someone creates a word or words to imitate, resemble, or describe what you hear when people, animals, and inanimate objects makes sounds. I call them: “Sound Words.”

The song, “Old MacDonald Had a Farm,” demonstrates the use of sounds to make this song more fun…an oink, oink here, a cluck cluck there.

When my nephew, Peter was 3 or 4 years old, he used onomatopoeia. (He didn’t know it, but he used it.) He climbed up on a bookcase to get a little drum. He and the bookcase came tumbling down. He said, “I climbed up and it said, “Timberrrr.” I was glad he was okay. His words made us all laugh! It broke the tension.

I am sure most of you use onomatopoeia (sound words) without even thinking of it. It comes naturally to many people. As you notice more sound words, you will get in a rhythm and think up your own.

In his Chief Storyteller blog post, Ira Koretsky lists nearly two hundred onomatopoeic words in 11 categories. Fuel for getting your ears tuned in for sound words.

Listen to see if your favorite characters on TV shows or in movies use onomatopoeia to describe their current situations or recap an event.

Use sound words in poems, conversation, text messages, emails, or memoirs about your childhood days. Any occasion is a good time to add new words to your very own onomatopoeia (sound word) collection. Using sound words adds punch to your writing and your conversation. 

Phyllis Heaton shared a sound passage with us:  “The campfire snapped and spit glowing sparks up towards the harvest moon. In the vast darkness something make loud crunching sounds as it moved across the fallen leaves that lay on the forest floor. I shivered and wondered whose idiot idea it was to camp in the Sleepy Hollow woods.”

Thank you, Phyllis.

Please share your favorite sentences using sound words with me in the comment area. If you give me permission, I’ll add yours to this post with your first and last name.

Resources for You

  1.  Ira Koretsky. Chief Storyteller. “Onomatopoeia, a Powerful Way to Improve Communication:” https://www.thechiefstoryteller.com/2013/10/09/onomatopoeia-powerful-way-improve-communication/
  2. Joan Y. Edwards. “Sounds Can Heal:” https://joanyedwards.com/2012/04/07/sounds-can-heal/
  3. Joan Y. Edwards. “Sounds of Words Bring Characters to Life:” https://joanyedwards.com/2015/05/16/sounds-of-words-bring-characters-to-life/
  4. Jules Horne. “Sensory Writing-Sounds, Music:” https://www.method-writing.com/sensory-writing-sounds-music/ 
  5. Julie Shackman. “How to Use Sounds in Writing:” https://jerichowriters.com/how-to-use-sounds-in-writing/
  6. M. Harris Editor. “Write Onomatopoeia:” https://mharriseditor.com/write-onomatopoeia/

Subscribe to Joan’s blog for new articles of inspiration, information, and humor. Receive free gifts. Join over 264 subscribers and over 1,772,619 visitors. Thank you.

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Never Give Up
Joan Y. Edwards, Author
Copyright © 2009-2022 Joan Y. Edwards

Flip Flap Floodle Firebird Book Award Winner Will this little duck’s song save him from Mr. Fox?
Joan’s Elder Care Guide Practical ways to help you and your elder survive.
Gospel-Based Crossword and Wordsearch Puzzle E-Books (pdf) Fun for Children’s Liturgy, Children’s Church, Sunday School, Homeschool, Home Bible Study, Senior Centers, and Nursing Homes.

You Can Do This!

man running up the word success with a briefcase
Thank you Open Clipart Vectors and Pixabay!

“You Can Do This!” by Joan Y. Edwards

You Can Do This!

No matter the challenge!
No matter the time
You can do this!

No matter how difficult!
No matter the place!
You can do this!

No matter the yay or nay of the voices inside or out,
No matter how humiliating when you hear these voices shout,
You can do this.

What does this job need?
Power, patience, money, love.
You can do this.

Why do I say this?
I know that God will help you.
He will give you an abundance of what you need emotionally and financially. He will give you the patience and energy; the time and perseverance to do the job.

God placed this idea in your head. He will give you what you need to accomplish it. I may not have named what you think you are missing to get this job done. You name it. Ask God for it. He will send it to you by his UPS (Upper Power Supply) Delivery Service.

A delivery of encouragement is expected to arrive for you in approximately 24 hours.

Do you want it delivered on your front porch? In your mailbox? In your mind?

Will you accept this delivery from God’s UPS Delivery Service? Remember to say, “Thank you.”

If it wasn’t delivered, perhaps your belief system needs a booster prayer. Believe in you and your abilities. Believe in the God who made you.

Please leave a comment. Please share with me who in your life has helped you to believe in yourself and your abilities.

Never Give Up
Joan Y. Edwards, Author

Subscribe to Joan’s blog for new articles of inspiration, information, and humor. Receive free gifts. Join over 262 subscribers and over 1,768,539 visitors. Thank you.

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Flip Flap Floodle
Firebird Book Award Winner
Will this little duck’s song save him from Mr. Fox?
Joan’s Elder Care Guide
Practical ways to help you and your elder survive.
Gospel-Based Crossword and Wordsearch Puzzle E-Books (pdf)
Fun for Children’s Liturgy, Children’s Church, Sunday School, Homeschool, Home Bible Study, Senior Centers, & Nursing Homes.

Copyright © 2009-2022 Joan Y. Edwards

Friends Are Cushions and Gifts from God

pillow cushions image by Malgorzata-Smozewska and Pixabay
Thank you for this image of pillow cushions Malgorzata-Smozewska and Pixabay.

“Friends Are Cushions and Gifts from God” by Joan Y. Edwards

Your circle of friends are gifts from God. They help soften and cushion your actions and reactions to your life’s journey in good times and times that are sad.

Sometimes when I talk to friends, they listen and help me cope with a situation that is bothering me.

silhoettes of men and women in part of a circle
Thank you, Joseph Redfield Nino and Pixabay for allowing me to use this image.

When I get worried about someone or something in life, I place my hand on a soft cushion and remember that God is taking care of the person or the thing that has upset me. I can let it go and rest.

Please leave a comment. Let me know how you handle the things you worry about.

Never Give Up
Joan Y. Edwards, Author

Flip Flap Floodle
Firebird Book Award Winner Will this little duck’s song save him from Mr. Fox?
Joan’s Elder Care Guide
Practical ways to help you and your elder survive.
Gospel-Based Crossword & Wordsearch Puzzle E-Books (pdf)
Fun for Children’s Liturgy, Children’s Church, Sunday School, Homeschool, Home Bible Study, Senior Centers, and Nursing Homes.

Copyright © 2009-2022 Joan Y. Edwards

Subscribe to Joan’s blog for new articles of inspiration, information, and humor. Receive free gifts. Join over 262 subscribers and over 1,752,322 visitors. Thank you.

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Focus Your Time and Reward Your Accomplishments (Especially the Small Ones)

One, ten, 50, and twenty dollar bills rolled up
Thank you NikolayF and Pixabay for allowing me to use this image.

“Focus Your Time and Reward Your Accomplishments (Especially the Small Ones)” by Joan Y. Edwards

In the winter of my 30th year of teaching (1993), I got extremely tired of checking papers ( math, science, English, social studies, spelling, handwriting, etc. ) I thought to myself, “I’ll pay someone to check papers for me. I’ll pay them $3.00 an hour. I want to help someone who needs money. I thought for a moment. Who do I know that needs money? Count to 10.

teacher with stack of papers to check.
Thank you Piypong Saydaung and Pixabay for allowing me to use this image.

…Ah! Yes! Me, I need money.

So I decided to pay myself $3.00 an hour for checking papers. I put the money in a special fund that I used to to treat myself to dinner, a movie, or to buy a new outfit that made me smile.

Guess what! It worked. It helped make checking papers more fun for me.  It helped inspire me to go for it. To go ahead and check the papers.

That summer I decided I would get a job working with Kelly Temporary Services as a receptionist – answering phones and greeting people. That way I wouldn’t have to check papers.

Enter the irony of it all.

My job was with Piedmont Airlines when they merged with US Airways. I was working for Piedmont Airlines. They trained the Airline Stewardesses for the combined way of taking care of passengers. My job  was ordering a cake to celebrate at the end of the week after the stewardesses took their tests. Yes you heard me. TESTS. Does that ring a bell? Guess whose job it was to check the tests for them? You are right. Ironically, it was my job to check the tests. One thing about it. It was only one test a week. I also had an answer grid that I could put over the answers and see if they were right.

Answer sheet for test with circle choices to color in with number 2 pencil
Thank you Lecroitg and Pixabay for letting me use this image of an answer sheet for a test.

I hope this made you laugh. I had to laugh. I had played a trick on myself.

That summer I also looked for a change in my teaching. I had to teach 5 more years. My principal asked me if I’d like to teach kindergarten. AH! Not many papers to check. I checked their work as they did it. There were more oral tests than written tests. I was a happy camper!

Now to the near present time. Since my late husband, Carl, died in 2020, I busied myself organizing pictures, taking care of estate stuff with his daughter, Susan, writing, and then my world seemed to crumble, I lost interest in doing things I used to enjoy doing.

I figured out a few weeks ago that perhaps one reason I’d lost interest was that after I wrote a blog post or I wrote a chapter in a story, I would tell Carl about it. Share parts with him. Not only was I missing the interaction with him, but COVID has all of us isolated from our usual gatherings with other people. In January a close cousin died. That set me back. I ventured forth in July to be with family and then bingo, I got Covid myself and it was BAAAADDD. But on the good side. I am alive. I was reborn. Thank you, God.

So now I’ve been searching through trying to help myself get enthusiastic about my writing and my drawing again.  I did research on what helps us achieve our goals and dreams and wrote a post about it. Then I thought. Ah! Paying myself for checking papers worked, why not pay myself when I write and also, when I do artwork.

I decided to pay myself $1.00 an hour for writing. $2.00 an hour for drawing. I got 50 one dollar bills at the bank. I put it in an envelope. For each hour I work, I add the money into a tall clear glass vase beside my computer. I will use the money to treat myself to dinner, go to the movies, or buy a new outfit. Something that makes me smile.

The day before I started this post, I opened my list of software on my main computer, In the software choices, I saw a clock face. I had never noticed it before. I clicked on it. Oh my goodness. How awesome! What a pleasant surprise!

It was a Windows Clock focus app based on the Pomodoro method. I always thought a Pomodoro was a hair do. However, it is a set amount of time to work with a short break in between. This app also has a section where you can put a list of things you wish to accomplish.

You can set the timer for as many minutes as you want up to an hour. A timer will ring and let you know when you’ve finished your allotted time you set for your task. You can choose breaks in between or no breaks.

This app also adds Spotify music while you work. I found that if I put the music on low, it didn’t disrupt my thought processes and I actually  enjoyed it as I worked.

Now you ask me, what is your point, Joan.

Set your FOCUS TIME. Set aside a certain time (15, 25, 60 minutes at a time) to work on something you want to accomplish. If music helps, play it softly. Don’t answer phone, texts, or emails during this FOCUS time.

Ideas:
Wear a special hat during FOCUS time.
Wear a special vest during FOCUS time.
Put a FOCUS TIME sign on your door during FOCUS time.

Use FOCUS TIME to spend doing things you might be neglecting or putting off.

Exercise: walking, jogging, etc.
Writing
Drawing
Organizing
Filling out job applications
Laundry
Dishes
Reading a book
Taxes

Reward yourself for doing that. Reward has to be within your power to do by yourself. This reward doesn’t come to you from someone else.  It’s important to celebrate and reward yourself for each step you take…even the smallest step. Each step gets you closer to your goal. Each time you reward yourself, you are saying, “I matter. What I do matters to me. I am important. “

Reward Possibilities:
Pay yourself.
Call a friend.
Watch a movie.
Go to the movie theatre.
Wear a smile sticker.
Get a pecan sticky bun.
Have hot chocolate and toast with butter. Dip        the toast into the hot chocolate.

Good luck! Please feel free to ask questions or share what has worked for you when YOU want to do something, but you seem to lack the spark within you to get it done.

Resources:

1. “155 Ways to Reward Yourself for Reaching Your Goals:” https://www.developgoodhabits.com/reward-yourself/

2. “Focus To-Do:”
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/focus-to-do-focus-timer-tasks/id966057213?platform=iphone 

3. Justin Pot. “Best Apps for Focusing on Work:”  https://beebom.com/best-apps-for-focusing-on-work/

4.Wikipedia. “Pomodoro Technique:”  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pomodoro_Technique

5. “Windows Clock:” https://apps.microsoft.com/store/detail/windows-clock/9WZDNCRFJ3PR

Never Give Up
Joan Y. Edwards, Author

Take a Look – Browse or Buy Joan’s Books

Flip Flap Floodle Firebird Book Award Winner Will this little duck’s song save him from Mr. Fox?

Joan’s Elder Care Guide Practical ways to help you and your elder survive.

Gospel-Based Crossword and Wordsearch Puzzle E-Books (pdf)  Fun for Children’s Liturgy, Children’s Church, Sunday School, Homeschool, Home Bible Study, Senior Centers, and Nursing Homes.

Copyright © 2009-2022 Joan Y. Edwards

Subscribe to Joan’s blog for new articles of inspiration, information, and humor. Getting close to 2 million visitors. Thank you. Receive free gifts. Join over 263 subscribers and over 1,739,626 visitors. Thank you.
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I Missed You. Now I Have a New VPS Server!

“I Missed You. Now I Have a New VPS Server!” by Joan Y. Edwards

Dear Subscribers and Visitors to my site:

It seems I had too many bots, sites, and people hitting on my site. So many hits that it caused my site and the other websites that were on the same server to crash. So they suspended it on September 12, 2022.

So to solve that problem: I paid for a (VPS) Virtual Private Server so that If I get a bunch of hits on my site, it will not make another person’s website crash. The pages and images load faster.

Bluehost installed the SSL – Security Certificate to guard visitors for free.  When a site is secure, it has https in front of it. It also shows the little lock symbol to the left of my website name, joanyedwards.

Many sites send robots to spy on other sites. In the early days, Captcha phrases worked well at stopping robots. I hate captcha. I get flustered after 15 minutes trying to find an elephant in a series of pictures. I can hardly ever figure out the pictures and I evidently don’t do the hearing thing well, either. Now, they say Captcha phrases may not catch all the bots. So I am looking for a way to seamlessly get you to my posts without a captcha thing.

two girls walking in field of wildflowers having fun
Thank you, Pixabay and Adelkazaika!

Celebrate the hard work that agents with Bluehost and I did to make this happen. Here are the steps we took.

1. Pay for the VPS  server.
2. Buy new FTP software. Mine was 12 years old. Funny, old software couldn’t move the gz files generated now.
3. Check to make sure all files copied and moved. At first I was missing the theme. Then I was missing all the images. So I had to go back to old shared site files and download the missing files and upload them to new server.
4.Today Bluehost representative moved the joanyedwards.com domain to the new VPS server and added the lock SSL security certificate for it. Voila.

We were in business. Back to a new normal. Sounds like a movie, doesn’t it. I had all these crises  and dilemmas. I didn’t realize this was going to happen. I had to invent a few new ways to inspire myself to keep going to get the site live again. I didn’t want to close down my site.

Please tell me if you can tell that the site loads faster and pictures load faster. Let me know if you have problems getting to the site. If you notice a page or picture is missing, let me know that, too.

When I reach 2 million visitors to my site, I am going to add another gift for subscribers. I have over 1,733,690 visitors now. I will also make it available to those who have already subscribed.

Are there any subjects you would like for me to write about for you? What inspires you? Poetry, songs, quotes, steps to goals?

Be thankful for what you have.
Ask for what you want.
Believe you’ll get everything you need.
Enjoy being you.
Never Give Up
Joan Y. Edwards, Author
Copyright © 2009-2022 Joan Y. Edwards

Flip Flap Floodle
Firebird Book Award Winner Will this little duck’s song save him from Mr. Fox?

Joan’s Elder Care Guide
Practical ways to help you and your elder survive.

Gospel-Based Crossword and Wordsearch Puzzle E-Books (pdf)

Fun for Children’s Liturgy, Children’s Church, Sunday School, Homeschool, Home Bible Study, Senior Centers, and Nursing Homes.

 

Subscribe to Joan’s blog for new articles of inspiration, information, and humor. Receive free gifts. Join over 263 subscribers and over 1,733,698 visitors. Thank you.

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What Makes Your Dreams Come True?

Key and 4 daisies
“What is the Key to Make Your Dreams Come True?” Thank you for this image S. Hermann & F. Richter from Pixabay.

What Makes Your Dreams Come True? by Joan Y. Edwards

Recently, I talked with my daughter, Lorrie, my friend, Linda, and my grandson, Wyatt, about what it takes to make a dream come true and what causes a dream to remain unfulfilled, never accomplished, and never experienced.

Many people have dreams, goals, aims, hopes, desires, and wishes that come true; Why? Some don’t. Why not?

Let’s get personal here. Why do some of your dreams come true?

I believe everyone is unstoppable in some areas. What areas are unstoppable for you? Write them down. What makes you unstoppable? This is what helps make your dreams come true.

Reasons Why Some of Your Dreams Come True

Inner and Outer  Belief – Trust –  Determination – Action – Commitment – Abundance of what you need (Time, Money, Energy, Plans)  – Other Positive Forces

Reasons why some of your dreams might not come true is the inner and outer battle with negative forces and life events and experiences (loss of a loved one; loss of a  job; loss of personal health, loss of friend; loss of belief in yourself). What happens?

You lose energy and/or stamina to continue to reach goal.

Abandon goal, Stay in Place, No action, Loss, Disappointment, Guilt, Fear, Lack of Time, Money, Energy, Plans, Commitment, Resources, etc.

1. You lose faith in yourself. You stop believing you can achieve this goal. Someone or something stomped the spark out that fueled your belief.

2. You stop taking action that will lead you to your goal. You abandon your mission. You no longer take action to make your dream come true.

 Why did you stop taking action?
a. You no longer believe you can achieve the goal.
b. You no longer want to achieve the goal.
c. You lack the energy to achieve the goal.
d. You don’t know how to make it come true any more.
e. You lack the resources to achieve your goal.
f.  Your initial plan didn’t work and you don’t know how to get to your goal.
g.  You don’t trust yourself to make the right decisions to get you to your goal.
h. You are afraid of what will happen if you achieve your goal or if you don’t achieve your goal. Your fear overpowers your belief.
i. You feel you are not in control.

If you’ve stopped reaching for your goal, what can you do now?

Your hope is not gone. It is hidden. Revive and rekindle the love and ambition you had for your goal at an earlier time in your life.

If your goal needs to be tweaked a little or changed a lot, you are wise and will make the right decisions. You will create a new plan to reach your goal.

Be willing to try again. Be willing to learn new ways and new skills. Be willing to change. Be willing to look for solutions that excite you and that you believe will work.

Empower yourself. Look in the mirror. Say good things to yourself. Use my dictionary of positive words and influences below this article. Choose the words that peak your interest and seem to speak to you. Say I am capable, I can do this. I have an abundance of everything I need. I truly want to make this happen. I am dedicated to accomplish this goal. I also put negative words that might influence your goal achievements or stop you in your tracks.

Sad or Bad Past Life Experiences may be hampering your present experiences.  You may have a deep fear of doing that and not realize why. Have you put off taking a long trip that you’ve always said you wanted to take?

I think sometimes an earlier sad or bad experience on a former trip might make you afraid of doing it.

One summer after my first husband, Alvin, and I took a fun two week trip out west to see Yellowstone National Park and to visit with relatives who lived on the west coast. When we returned from our vacation, Alvin got fired from his job. We never did take long vacations after that. We visited family and places on the east coast, and that was it. We didn’t plan it that way.  We never talked about it.

           Sometimes you might take a trip and end up in the hospital which could make you afraid to take a trip. This happened to Carl, but we talked about it.  Talk about what you will do if this happens. If it’s happened to you, talking about it might help move the elephant out of the way.

It was a subconscious fear that took over. In writing screenplays and novels, they talk about subtext or the elephant that is in the room but you can’t see him. No one is talking about it, but it’s there. That’s what this subconscious fear is.

You might not realize you are afraid. However, you don’t take steps to make the trip happen. It becomes only an “empty dream.” One that you never take action to make happen because your underlying fears stop you in your tracks.

However, even the possibility of an “empty dream” ( A dream you never take action to accomplish) can remain a hope in your heart, a possibility.  Even, if you don’t act on it or it never comes true, it is that “hope” and “possibility” that may still keep you going  because you never realize that an “elephant fear” is stopping you.

What fuels achieving your dreams?

Belief
Cost: money, time, energy, plan, action
Control
Want it versus need it
Fear of unknown

Questions that come to your mind.
What if you don’t enjoy it?
What if you can’t control it?
Will your expectations come true?

FEARS

How do you fight fear?

Life throws you a curve ball with a loss in health, job, or financial, or other resources, what can you do?

Have faith that you will figure out new ways to continue to get new jobs. You will figure out how to still go places in spite of any health limitations.

You have fears. However, outweigh your fears with a fervent belief in the possibility of a goal. Fears can be  outweighed by your firm desire to get up and go. You have a strong faith that you will figure out a way to accomplish what you want to do in spite of any limitations of your health or your job. Your faith helps you fulfill your dreams. Faith overcomes fear.

Watch and listen to the words that you speak. They are powerful links to what you believe in your subconscious mind. Here’s a story to explain what I mean.

One day my late husband, Carl said, “I get sick every Christmas.”

Whoa! What a proclamation! I asked him, “Did you hear what you said? He looked at me and shook his head. You said, “I get sick every Christmas.”

I asked him if that was something he wanted to happen. He said, “No.”

So he changed his words to, “I am well every Christmas.”

Listen for words spouted from your mouth:

“I can’t…”
“I never get to…”
“I always …”
“I never get a break.”
“If it’s not one thing, it is another.”

Use these words instead:

I can do what others think is impossible.
Sometimes I get to…
I am safe.
I have an abundance of all I need.
I can find a solution that makes things better.

Write down three positive and three negative words that speak to you. Use these in writing the steps to reach your goals. If you know of an elephant that may be stopping you or causing you to “run in place,” write it down. Talk about it. Pray about it. Write a way to calm you so you go forward with a firm belief and enthusiasm for your goal.

Below I have put a dictionary of positive words and also negative words.

Remember above all to pray to God and be thankful for all that you have. I believe that God will help you achieve your dreams. He is the one who put them on your heart.

Dictionary for Achievers
– Most of these definitions come from Oxford Languages on Google or Merriam Webster

Positive Words that might help you get to your goals and make your dreams come true.

Abundance – plenty, enough for what you need and some left over to share.
Achievable – able to be  reached; able to make happen.
Action – the fact or process of doing something, typically to achieve an aim.
Aim– have the intention of achieving; direct a course, aspire, intend
Amuse – make laugh, entertain
Attainable  – reachable,  achievable

Befriend  yourself – a practice of self-compassion and kindness to oneself.
Belief – trust, faith, or confidence in someone or something.
Believe – to accept something as true, genuine, or real ideals.

Confidence – Great faith in oneself.
Continue – persist in an activity or process.
Commitment – an agreement or pledge to do something in the future; emotionally impelled.
Compel – to drive or urge forcefully or irresistibly

Dedication – self-sacrificing devotion and loyalty
Delight –  please greatly, charm, captivate.
Design – a plan.
Desire – a strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen.
Determination – firmness of purpose; resoluteness.
Deter – discourage (someone) from doing something by instilling doubt or fear of the consequences.
Dream – a cherished aspiration, ambition, or ideal.
Driven  – (of a person) relentlessly compelled by the need to accomplish a goal; very hard-working and ambitious.

Expectation – a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future.

Fact – a thing that is known or proved to be true.
Faith – commitment of strong trust and confidence in something or someone.
Firm – strongly felt and unlikely to change.

Enjoy – take delight or pleasure in (an activity or occasion).
Entertain – provide (someone) with amusement or enjoyment.
Essential –  absolutely necessary; cannot happen without.
Expectation  – a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future.
Essential – necessary, indispensable; unavoidable

Flinch –  make a quick, nervous movement as an instinctive reaction to fear, pain, or surprise.

Goal –  the object of a person’s ambition or effort; an aim or desired result.
Gut feeling – an instinctive feeling, as opposed to an opinion based on facts; a strong belief about someone or something that cannot completely be explained and does not have to be decided by reasoning.

Hang on – wait.
Hang in there – said as a way of telling someone to not give up, despite difficulties.
Help – to make it possible or easier for someone to do something, by doing part of the work yourself or by providing advice, money, support, etc.
Hold on – to make yourself continue to do what you are doing or stay where you are although it is difficult or unpleasant.
Hope – a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.

Impel – impart motion to; move to action
Inner voice  – Also referred to as “internal dialogue,” “the voice inside your head,” or an “inner voice,” your internal monologue is the result of certain brain mechanisms that cause you to “hear” yourself talk in your head without actually speaking and forming sounds.
inspiration  – the process of being mentally stimulated to do or feel something, especially to do something creative; spurred on to reach a goal.
Instruct – teach (someone) a subject or skill.
Intent – adjective: resolved or determined to do (something).

LastingAdjective. lasting, permanent, durable, stable mean enduring for so long as to seem fixed or established. lasting implies a capacity to continue indefinitely.

Necessity – is required or indispensable
Need  – a thing that is wanted or required.
Never give upto keep trying and never stop working for your goals.

Objective –  a thing aimed at or sought; a goal.
Opinion – a view or judgment formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge.
Optimistic  hopeful and confident about the future.

Passion – strong and barely controllable emotion of love or enthusiasm.
Persevere – continue in a course of action even in the face of difficulty or with little or no prospect of success.
Persist – continue firmly or obstinately in an opinion or a course of action in spite of difficulty, opposition, or failure.
Persistent – continuing firmly or obstinately in a course of action in spite of difficulty, opposition, or failure.
Plan   a detailed proposal for doing or achieving something; an intention or decision about what one is going to do.
Propel – drive forward
Promise (noun) – a declaration or assurance that one will do a particular thing or that a particular thing will happen.
Promise  (verb) –  assure someone that one will definitely do, give, or arrange something; undertake or declare that something will happen.
Purpose – the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists; one’s intention or objective.

Reachable – able to be achieved.
Reality – the world or the state of things as they actually exist, as opposed to an idealistic or notional idea of them.
Recharge – to make a new attack;  to regain energy or spirit;  to become charged again.
Relentless – constant; never giving up
Resolute -admirably purposeful, determined, and unwavering.
Result – a consequence, effect, or outcome of an action.
Reward – something offered or given for some service or attainment of a job or goal

Save – keep safe or rescue (someone or something) from harm or danger; keep and store up (something, especially money) for future use.
Statement – a definite or clear expression of something in speech or writing.; an official account of facts, views, or plans, especially  of someone.
Surprise – a welcome, unexpected or astonishing event, fact, or thing.

Trust –  rely upon; firm belief in the reliability, strength, or ability or strength of someone

Unstoppable – Unable to be stopped or prevented; impossible to stop or prevent.
Unflinching – not showing fear or hesitation in the face of danger or difficulty.
Unwavering – steady or resolute; not wavering.

Want – have a desire to possess or do (something); wish for.
Wish – feel or express a strong desire or hope for something that is not easily attainable; want something that cannot or probably will not happen

Negative Words that might hamper achieving a goal

Abandon – stop supporting; give up completely (a course of action,  a practice, or a way of thinking

Challenging – too difficult
Criticism –
the expression of disapproval  based on perceived thoughts or opinions; disapproval.

Dead End – an end of a road or passage from which no exit is possible.
Detour  – a long or roundabout route that is taken to avoid something or to visit somewhere along the way.
Disappointment – sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one’s hopes or expectations.
Disbelief – doubt
Distrust – the feeling that someone or something cannot be relied upon
Doubt –  a feeling of uncertainty; disbelieve; fear

Excuse – a reason or explanation put forward to defend or justify a fault or offense.

Give up – cease making an effort; resign oneself to failure.
Guilt – feelings of deserving blame especially for imagined offenses or from a sense of inadequacy

Lack –  not enough; inadequate; deficient
Loss = he state or feeling of grief when deprived of someone or something of value

Negative self-talk – any inner dialogue that might limit your ability to believe in yourself and your own abilities to reach your potential. It is any thought that reduces you and your ability to make positive changes in your life or your confidence in your ability to do so.
No action – do nothing

Pessimistic – tending to see the worst aspect of things or believe that the worst will happen.

Quit – end activity; stop; leave

Self-Sabotage – when you unintentionally destroy yourself physically, mentally, or emotionally or hinder your success and wellbeing by hindering the reach of personal goals and values.

Self-Reproach – harsh criticism or disapproval of oneself especially for wrongdoing.
Shock –  a sudden upsetting or surprising event or experience
Stop – cause an action, process, or event to come to an end; quit..

Unnecessary – not essential

Wavering – to vacillate irresolutely between choices : fluctuate in opinion, allegiance, or direction; hesitating in choice of opinions or course of action; undecide.
Wishy Washy – not able to make a clear decision

Please leave a comment. Let me know if any of my ideas help you. Share what helps you achieve your goals or what stops you in your tracks. Good luck in reaching your goals and dreams! May God bless you.

Never Give Up
Joan Y. Edwards, Author

Books Available for purchase:
1. Flip Flap Floodle Firebird Book Award Winner Will this little duck’s song save him from Mr. Fox?

2. Joan’s Elder Care Guide Practical ways to help make things easier for you and your elder. (I am updating and revising now.)

3. Gospel-Based Crossword and Wordsearch Puzzle E-Books (pdf) Fun for Children’s Liturgy, Children’s Church, Sunday School, Homeschool, Home Bible Study, Senior Centers, and Nursing Homes.

Copyright © 2009-2022 Joan Y. Edwards

Subscribe to Joan’s blog for new articles of inspiration, information, and humor. Let her know if there’s a topic you would like for her to cover. Receive free gifts. Join over 262 subscribers and over 1,730,086 visitors. Thank ou.
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Resources

Joan Y. Edwards. “Be Excited Each Day to Work on Your Goals:” https://www.joanyedwards.com/2020/10/25/be-excited-each-day-to-work-on-your-goals/

Joan Y. Edwards. “Write Down Your Goals:” https://www.joanyedwards.com/2012/06/01/write-down-your-goals/ 

Les Fee from a Fee Funeral Home in Alberta, Canada  says Write out your plan. Have a physical plan in front of you. Not only an idea in your mind, but also something tangible that you can hold in your hand or hang on the wall.

Les Fee also says, “Goal setting will allow you to challenge the negativity and move forward to positivity.”

 

 

 

 

Three Ways to Lessen the Negative Impact of Childhood Experiences on Your Adult Life

girl climbing tree to get a new perspective
Look from Another Perspective. Thank you, Alan Mas and Pexels for allowing me to use this photo.

“Three Ways to Lessen the Negative Impact of Childhood Experiences on Your Adult Life” by Joan Y. Edwards

Honoring Tom Boya’s request for a post about the impact of childhood experiences on your adult life, I wrote this article. I hope it helps.

1.  Are the videos that run through your mind, fact or opinion. Make index cards with new positive belief statements. Look from a different point of view. Discover the facts.

In 1996, when I met my late husband, Carl, he was still trying to get over his father telling him that he was too slow.  Over and over again, his father said, “Son, you are so slow.” His father said this to him continuously since he was  five or six years old. It still made him sad. He still believed it when he was 54 years old.

I told Carl that when you are under the age of reason (usually seven years old), what authority figures tell you seeps down in your mind. Your subconscious mind believes it without question: “I am slow. I am always slow.”

You have no filter. You can’t tell fact from opinion. I told him, “Let’s try to put new belief statements in your mind.  Reprogram your thinking.  Look from another point of view.”

I pointed out to Carl that he had a job where he was in charge of sending out workers to repair gas lines. He also had to notify the city that there was a leak and get permission to dig in the streets. He had to call a locate company to locate the other lines in the area: phone lines, cable lines, water lines. He had to do all this in a matter of minutes by phone because it was critical to the safety of the people. I told him that no one who was slow could do his job. Yet, he couldn’t rush things and forget something either.

I told Carl that he didn’t do things as fast as his father wanted him to, but that didn’t mean he was too slow.

Carl got where he didn’t have his father’s words going through his head any more. He was much happier and accepted himself as he was. He was fine at his speed, not slow at all.

2. Discover the facts. Discard the hurtful opinions. Realize that “If God is happy with you, you don’t have to worry about anyone else.” It doesn’t matter what other people think. What you believe about yourself is what counts. Keep as positive as you can.

When I was five I had a baby brother, my mother and grandfather went visiting neighbors. Mother told me to rock my brother until they got back. When they came back, I was sound asleep still rocking my baby brother.  Mother told me I was too obedient and didn’t have any common sense.

Again this was before the age of reason. Authority figure told me to rock the baby, so I rocked  the baby.

As a teenager and as an adult, I worked hard to research things so that I would not only have common sense, but good opinions about many things.

As a teacher for 35 years, I sometimes got into trouble because I think outside the box. I don’t see through the window like many others do.  But, I’ve learned to respect that it’s okay for me to be me.  I was so happy when I figured out this, “It’s okay if others don’t like or approve me or my actions. As long as God is happy with me, I don’t have to worry about anyone else.”

soar like an eagle
Go Higher in Your Thinking of Yourself
Soar like an eagle. Thank you, Stacy Vitallo and Pixabay for letting me use this image.

3. Your emotional beliefs may be based on false ideas, but these emotions are real. They hurt as a child and as an adult. Look from another point of view. Do something to challenge or change that idea in your mind. Love yourself. Surround yourself with people who love and accept you as you are right now.

Look from a different prospective
Boy llooking through his legs for another perspective. Thank you to DanaTentis and Pixabay for allowing me to use this image.

Sometimes as children, we misjudge things emotionally. For me, I believed I was alone…abandoned. That no one would spend time with me. My Daddy travelled most of the time, but, I really wasn’t alone.  Everyone else in my family liked going out more.  I was comfy being at home.

But something happened to change my thinking.  I spent 3 summers as a teenager with my Uncle Vernon and Aunt Martha. They had seven children: Leonard, Billy, Pete, Thurman, Susan, Cheryl, and Millie. There was always someone at home. We played together. We did chores together.  We laughed together. I didn’t feel alone there. I felt accepted and loved.  We were cousins. However,  they were  like brothers and sisters and close friends to me. Some of them have passed away. But the memories are still treasured in my heart. I am thankful they were there for me and to those who are still alive and help me survive today.

I hope that you will find a way to ease the painful memories of your childhood and replace them with love and forgiveness for yourself and the others in your life. We are all human…imperfect but wonderfully made.

Resources

1. Joan Y. Edwards. “Three Good Childhood Experiences That Influenced My Choices as an Adult:” https://www.joanyedwards.com/2022/06/28/three-good-childhood-experiences-that-influenced-my-choices-as-an-adult/

2. Joan Y. Edwards. “Do You Need the Forgiveness Tunnel?” https://www.joanyedwards.com/2018/05/24/do-you-need-the-forgiveness-tunnel/

3. Key Differences.com. “Difference between Fact and Opinion:” https://keydifferences.com/difference-between-fact-and-opinion.html

4. Tony Robbins. “How to Let Go of the Past:” https://www.tonyrobbins.com/mind-meaning/let-go-past/

Please leave a comment. Share a life experience or resource that helped you let go of a negative experience.

Never Give Up
Joan Y. Edwards, Author
1. Flip Flap Floodle Firebird Book Award Winner Will this little duck’s song save him from Mr. Fox?

2. Joan’s Elder Care Guide Practical ways to help make things easier for you and your elder. (I am updating and revising now.)

3. Gospel-Based Crossword and Wordsearch Puzzle E-Books (pdf) Fun for Children’s Liturgy, Children’s Church, Sunday School, Homeschool, Home Bible Study, Senior Centers, and Nursing Homes.

Copyright © 2009-2022 Joan Y. Edwards

Subscribe to Joan’s blog for new articles of inspiration, information, and humor. Let her know if there’s a topic you would like for her to cover. Receive free gifts. Join over 262 subscribers and over 1,585,839 visitors. Thank you.
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Three Good Childhood Experiences That Influenced My Choices as an Adult

girl in white pinafore over blue dress, wearing Dutch white hat
1945 Joan, age 5, Tucker, Ga

“Three  Good Childhood Experiences That Influenced My Choices as an Adult,” by Joan Y. Edwards

There are many experiences in life that influence your choices afterwards. Your childhood experiences seem to have a really great impact on the choices you make as an adult. Tom Boya, a longtime subscriber asked me to write a post about that. So today, in honor of Tom’s request, I am sharing three experiences I had as a child that made a definite impact on my choices as an adult.

 

  1. 1945 – Spent all my money on a gift

In 1945, when I was five, my sister, Judith and I went to the store to buy Mother a gift for Mother’s Day.  I had saved up $5.00. That was a lot of money. I bought her lipstick, rouge, and a mirror. It used all my money. I didn’t have any left. I gave Mother her gifts and she was very excited and pleased with them. She found me crying later in the afternoon.
     “What’s wrong, Joan? Why are you crying?
“I don’t have any more money.”
“Why not?”
“I spent it for your gift.”
Mother looked at me. She said, “You can take it back and get your money back.”
“OH, NO, Mother. I want you to have the lipstick, the rouge, and the mirror.”
Mother looked at me and thought and thought. She smiled, “Next time,  don’t spend all of your money on a gift. Save a little for yourself.”
I looked at her and smiled. “That’s a good idea.”
So I remembered that. To this day,  I make sure I have enough to pay all my bills and a little to save for myself, before I use money for a gift for others.

2. 1952 – Being good at entertaining children at birthday parties

Our family didn’t hire anyone to come in to entertain us. We had to furnish our own entertainment. We loved it. We wrote and acted out plays. We sang songs. We played softball in the field next door. We ate separate from the adults at family gatherings. We usually put on a performance for the adults.
Fast forward to a lady transporting me to a doctor’s appointment when I was 12.  She was having her daughter’s fourth birthday party with 10 children and didn’t know what to do to entertain them. I said to myself, “What?” I couldn’t believe it. I told her. I can help entertain your daughter and her friends. Easy,  So I did. She even paid me. We played tag, hide and go seek, and pin the tail on the donkey. We made up a short play, sang funny songs, and  sang “Happy Birthday.”
That was one of the experiences that made me decide to become a teacher.  My experiences as a teacher didn’t always turn out like this party.  But I learned from them. I did my best to share my love of learning to help others learn and have fun doing it.

3. 1952 Chosen to lead a Charm workshop for Camp Fire Girls

My mother was a Campfire Girl Group leader. She taught us to cook a simple one layer coffee cake. I never camped overnight. However, we had a daytime Saturday retreat with workshops at a camp council gathering in Washington, DC when I was in sixth grade. Its purpose was to help us become ladies as well as campers. When I found out that I had been chosen to lead a workshop about Charm. I was surprised and filled with immense happiness. I had to use the dictionary to find out what charm was.  Everyone had a good time and all of us learned about how to charming. To me, being charming means caring about the people around you.

I understand that many life experiences as a child have negative influences on us. I decided to focus on the positive ones that make me grateful.

Please share your life experiences that influenced your choices as an adult with us in the comment area. My readers and subscribers leave absolutely great advice and great stories in the comment area. If you would like for me to write an article on a particular topic, please let me know.

 

Resources

The Psychpractice.com. “How Your Childhood Affects You in Adulthood:” https://thepsychpractice.com/plog/2018/3/28/how-your-childhood-affects-you-in-adulthood

“Effects of positive and negative childhood experiences on adult family health:” https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8022401/

“7 Signs You Grew Up As An Overly Independent Child — And It’s Affecting You Now:” https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/7-signs-grew-overly-independent-163004451.html

For more articles of inspiration, information, and humor, I would be honored if you subscribe now and join 1,584,235 readers and 262 subscribers.

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Anthony Mondal – Poet

Anthony Mondal, poet with Laddie, his wife's dog..
Anthony Mondal, poet with his wife, Karen’s dog, Laddie.

“Anthony Mondal, Poet” by Joan Y. Edwards

Anthony Mondal has been a subscriber to my blog for a long time. I thought it would be fun to interview him as a poet. He agreed to be here with us today. Thanks for coming Anthony.

Anthony: You are welcome. I am excited to be here!

Joan: Let us begin:

1. Where did you grow up? Was this in the city, suburbs, or country?

          I grew up in a small town outside of Grand Rapids, Michigan.

2. Have you traveled a bunch?

          Yes. I have travelled all over the mainland USA and to  Canada, UK and in parts of Asia. I love traveling and would love to see more of the world but the Pandemic has put a serious question mark over that!

3. What is one of the hardest things to overcome as a writer?

I am still working on establishing myself as a Writer/Author. I self-published one book, “Dialogues with Myself” and had one book published through a hybrid publisher, A Burst of Sunshine. I have had a slew of blue collar jobs to keep myself afloat.

4. When did you start writing poems?

A long time back…way back in New York City (Manhattan) around August 1995.

5. Do you have any poems that would inspire people to never give up?

I consider my whole body of work as a testament to the indomitable Human Spirit!

6. What are the rules you follow for your poetry?

          I am not very fond of rules, period! In poetry even less so but after writing a poem, I keep reading and rereading my poems till an internal nod happens in my head and then I know it is done.

7. Who are 3 of your favorite poets? 

          I have love and admiration for many poets. It is extremely difficult and unfair to the others to narrow it down to 3. However, I choose these 3 poets:  Charles Bukowski, Percy Bysshe Shelley and Arthur Rimbaud.

8. What advice do you have for people who want to get their poetry published?

           I think I am the wrong poet/writer to give that advise because I myself am  still looking for a proper true publisher and a home for my body of literary works. Also being a Poet/Author for over 2 decades I realize that it is individual luck and circumstances that plays a huge role in your life…which is unique to each individual poet. But do not be discouraged. Keep submitting!

9. What resources did you find helpful to you in getting published?

          When I lived in NY city I went to the library and opened  up the latest literary digest and wrote down the names of the publishers or literary grants folks. I sent them query letters.

10. What resource was most helpful to you in writing your poetry?

          I am very image driven so I definitely use                    YouTube to watch poet/writers and author documentaries or for that matter anything that I am drawn to that holds my interest and fascination.

A Burst of Sunshine” by Anthony Mondal

“Dialogues with Myself” (ISBN 1-58915-022-8)  out of print now.

Visit Anthony at his website: https://www.anthonymondal.com

Thank you very much Anthony Mondal for sharing your love of writing poetry with us.

***

Please leave a comment to encourage  Anthony Mondal and other writers. I wish you all good luck in getting your work published.

Subscribe to Joan’s blog for new articles of inspiration, information, and humor. Receive free gifts. Join over 262 subscribers and over 1,575,363 visitors. Thank you.
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 Never Give Up
Joan Y. Edwards, Author
Copyright © 2009-2022 Joan Y. Edwards

What to Do When You Run Out of Patience?

cars backed up on highways
Thank you, Ri Butov from Pixabay for allowing me to use this great photo.

“What to Do When You Run Out of Patience?” by Joan Y. Edwards

June Baker, a long time subscriber, asked me to write an article on patience. If you’re like me, patience is something you lack once in a while.

1. So you’re on your way to an appointment. You left a little later than you planned. Traffic is piled up more than usual. You caught every red light. They were doing road construction. The little man with the red stop sign kept you hostage for 5 minutes. If you open your window, you are afraid that your patience will fly right out the window. Is there enough patience to get you through all this?

2. Your spouse’s paycheck is cut 50% this month because of a foul up in the computer system. They plan to fix it but it will be a week before the extra money comes in. You have a mortgage payment and a car payment that are due. The school called and your youngest child has thrown up and is running a fever.  You drive to the school and pick your child up and you have a flat tire on the way home. Is there enough patience to get you through all this?

3. Your child has a math problem you are clueless how to solve. Another child waited until the night before to tell you that she needs a costume for a play at school the next day. Your older child calls from the gym and has broken his leg. Is there enough patience to get your through all this?

4. One more scenario. You are cooking supper for a special friend. You put the meat in the oven. You get distracted and don’t set the timer. When you get back in the kitchen to check on the meat, it is burnt beyond the possibility of eating it. You still have a great salad. Is there enough patience to get your through all this?

Do you spend all evening beating yourself up?
Do you laugh and relax because you know everyone makes mistakes some worse than yours? Do you realize that no one is perfect? No one can master handling every problem with finesse and patience.

Here’s the secret to patience.

Take a deep breath. Breathe in patience. Breathe out anxiety. Breathe in patience. Breathe out self-doubt. Breathe in love. Breathe out judgment. Breathe in patience.

Relinquish the want or need to control. Accept that situations may be as you hoped and expected. But, also accept that situations may not turn out as you hoped or expected. You are not in control of all situations. You can monitor and control your reactions.

Relinquish the idea that you should be perfect. I know from personal experience that is not humanly possible. But realize that you come pretty close most of the time. Some days, give you a little trouble, but not all days.

Doing the following things will help you have patience:

  1. Eat well.

  2. Get plenty of sleep.

  3. Do  ten minutes of exercise each day.

  4. Encourage someone in person, on the phone, or by email.

  5. Ask God to help you.

Repeat one of these affirmations for 21 days. Put the one you choose on a 3×5 index card. Tape it to your computer or bathroom mirror.

I have an abundance of patience.
Today I have enough patience.
Tomorrow I will have an abundance of patience.
I choose to have enough patience today.

Here are things you can do to help you build patience:

  1. Pray and ask God for more patience.

  2. Work puzzles: crossword, word search, jigsaw

  3. Start out 15 minutes earlier for an appointment.

  4. Take a breather between activities.

  5. Take time to rest, breathe, and do your research before making long-term decisions.

  6. Find a different way to handle a situation so you don’t stress out about it.

  7. Go fishing.

What should you do when you have an anxiety attack when you have no patience at all. Say, “I am fine the way I am right now. I am good and worthy right now. I have enough patience for every situation I am in.”

Thank you, June Baker for suggesting this topic. I hope my ideas and those in the resources help you.

Thank you for reading my post. I wish you luck in gaining trust that you have enough patience for every situation you are in. Please write and tell me how you gain patience.  How do you accept yourself as you are?

Resources

Greg Bell. “Strategies for Increasing Patience:” https://www.gregbellspeaks.com/blog/strategies-for-increasing-patience

Melissa Eisler. “7 Strategies to Build and Improve Patience:” https://melissaeisler.com/improve-patience/

Cleveland Clinic. “7 Tips for Better Patience:”  https://health.clevelandclinic.org/7-tips-for-better-patience-yes-youll-need-to-practice/

 

Subscribe to Joan’s blog for new articles of inspiration, information, and humor. Receive free gifts. Join over 262 subscribers and over 1,568,284 visitors. Thank you.
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Never Give Up
Joan Y. Edwards, Author
Copyright © 2009-2022 Joan Y. Edwards