“Powerful Emotion Sorter and Handler“ by Joan Y. Edwards
Your body, mind, and spirit has a powerful emotion sorter and handler inside you. It says I want to feel your emotions. The happy ones and the sad ones. As a human being, you have 6,000 to 70,000 thoughts per day. You want your thoughts to be helpful to you and keep you living healthy and happy. Many of your thoughts are about your negative feelings, thoughts about yourself, thoughts about others. If you are like me, you want to promote the well-being of yourself and those you love. If possible, you want to change some of those really strong negative emotions into a more positive one.
The goal isn’t to find someone to blame for your feelings. The goal is to understand what happened, what you need, and what choices you have right now.
Feelings
Feeling sad? angry? hurt? disappointed? jealous? frustrated? scared? Feel them. Say: I feel mad. I feel overwhelmed. whatever the feeling is inside you. Say it. Say it’s okay to feel this way. Pause before reacting. Is this a situation you have to accept or is there something you can do to change it. Then look for another way forward.
Name the Feelings
Name the feelings. Accept them without judgment. Explore them. Say to yourself, “Many people feel this way. It is natural to feel this way. My feelings are valid. It is okay to feel this way.”
Acknowledge that your feelings are real and valid. You don’t have to justify or defend your feelings. They are normal. You are human. Everyone has feelings.
I can accept this feeling without judging myself for having it.
I give myself permission to feel what I feel.
This feeling is really intense right now, but feelings change and pass with time.
Breathe a fresh breath in. Breathe out the tension.
Breathe in acceptance. Breathe out anger and frustration.
Breathe in calm. Breathe in peace.
Locate the feelings in your body
Locate the feeling in your body. Try to let this feeling exist wherever it wants to. Try not to resist the feeling.
Get up and move. If you are standing, walk. If you are seated, stand. If you are walking, stop and look at a flower or something you are thankful for. Sing a song. Do a little dance.
You feelings give you invaluable treasures of information
Your feelings give you invaluable treasures of information. Your feelings come from a mixture of body signals, past memories, and brain thoughts. Emotions start when something in your environment or your social situation triggers a response in your brain. Your emotions come from an interplay of early experiences, personal history, and environmental influences.
Your mind checks what the trigger means, and your brain names the emotion. Your heart beats fast or your tummy hurts. Your shoulders ache or your feet hurt. Your body sends special juices like adrenaline or serotonin to your brain. Your brain compares what happened this time to what has happened in the past. A feeling may have come from remembering different events from the past. It could be a fear of an event repeating itself. Your feelings may be coming from more than one memory. It may stem from a similar past experience where you felt betrayed, left out, discounted, or abandoned.
Love yourself. Be curious.
Curiosity opens doors of enlightenment and Information for you and about yourself and others
Curiosity opens doors: What happened? Why am I feeling this way? Where is it coming from? What caused it? What did this particular situation mean inside your mind? What have you decided this event means about you? What emotions are you feeling? What conclusion are you jumping to? What are you saying this means about you? Who is the villain? Who is the hero?
Look for better ways to think about an event from your past, present, or worrying about the future
What is your interpretation of what someone said to you? What did their words or actions mean that they think of you.
What someone else thinks about you does not make it true.
What have you decided this event means about you? What emotional need do you think might be underneath this feeling?
Ten Common Unmet Emotional Needs
Here are ten common unmet emotional needs include validation, affection, and emotional safety, as well as acceptance, attention, empathy, appreciation, autonomy, a sense of belonging, and consistency.
Could there be another explanation?Could there be a grandfather affect going on. Could it be that something similar has happened numerous times in your life.
Check the facts.
Check the facts. What caused you to feel this way in this particular situation? What is your belief? Curiosity, asking questions and thinking in possibilities opens doors and offers a change in your perspective, a chance for a more positive emotion, a clearer perception of a healthier response than the one from your past. A way to realize you don’t have any control over what others think about you. You are not responsible for anyone else’s emotions. What others believe about you cannot affect you unless you believe it is true, unless you give what others say or do that power over you.
Although you do not have control over others, you do have a little control about what you believe and think about yourself. Finding a better way to look at yourself and the situation, will lead you to a better chance at inner peace. Inner peace leads to joy, happiness, and smiles on the outside and the inside! Saying and believing good things about yourself – saying affirmations about you will help you change your negative beliefs about yourself.
Food for thought.
Your thoughts and interpretations of situations significantly shape your emotional experiences. For instance, how you perceive an event can lead to different emotional responses. You may know what you feel but you may be mistaken about why you feel that way. What else might be contributing to this feeling besides what came to your mind at first.
When you have an unmet need, It does not mean you have done something wrong or that you are unworthy of receiving it.
Your goal is to understand what happened, what you need, and what choices you have right now to feel better about your situation. Your goal isn’t to feel guilty, blame, or shame. When you or someone else feels guilty, blame, or shame you may shut down freeze, withdraw, and avoid doing anything. for fear of making things worse.
What you are feeling might might also be connected to:
an unmet need
what you hoped would happen
a memory
a belief
a series of recent events
simply being tired and worn down
overwhelmed by too many emotions all at the same time
What choices of action do you have now?
What choices of action do you have now? What action will you choose to take? Asking yourself and others questions opens up the possibility to realize that there is more than one way to feel better. There is more than one way to look at a situation.
Why did you say that?
What did you mean by that?
Would you do consider doing it this way next time?
What would make you feel better now? How could you make this better in the future?
Do your best to give caring responses to yourself and others. The pain of many negative emotions is extremely strong. Be kind to yourself. Be gentle with yourself and with others.
Curiosity opens doors: What happened? Why am I feeling this way? Where dis it coming from? What caused it?
I can understand why you would feel that way.
That sounds like it would hurt.
What do I need? How can I meet that need without hurting myself or someone else?
What choices do you have now?
What you choose to do because of a feeling we are experiencing is a separate question. In conversations and situations, decisions might prove better if they lean to the one in the most pain.
If you are in immense pain, it is imperative that you try to help yourself get out of that funk. Accept that you are in a lot of emotional pain. Do a chore. Wash dishes. Do laundry. Check the mail. Write a letter. Look at old pictures. Do something that is fun for you. Stretch your arms. Touch your toes. Breathe in and out. Look for a way to feel better. Pray.
That doesn’t mean that everyone might not feel perfect about it. But if you have a choice, and you are able to give compassion. Lean towards kindness to the person who is hurting the most. Perhaps it is you. Perhaps it is someone you love. Make sure when you do something good for them, Do something good for yourself, too. What goes around comes around!
God said, “Love your neighbor as you love yourself.”
Forgive yourself and others 70 times 7 times.
Enjoy using the powerful emotion sorter and handler within you. It is a gift.
Thank you for reading this. I have used these ideas to help me. I did not create them. I discovered them as I have gone along my life’s path. I used YouTube videos and information from different websites at the time I was searching for answers. Too numerous to name. Ideas come to you and me from sources known and sources unknown, sent to us as inspiration from God and his people. I wrote it to help you and me find our way to healthier emotions and inner peace. I sincerely hope it may help you. If you think it might help someone you know, please share this article with them.
Please leave a comment. Share your story. I really enjoy hearing from you.
Pray-Talk-Listen-Ask Questions-Pray
Never Give Up
Joan Y. Edwards, Author
Copyright 2009-2026
Joan’s Children’s books:
Flip Flap Floodle Firebird Book Award Winner Will this little duck’s song save him from Mr. Fox?
The Golden Arm Uh oh! Minerva’s spirit wants her golden arm back!
The Day I Turned My Brother into a Monkey Has your brother ever aggravated you so much you wished he would turn into a monkey? Your words are powerful! It could happen!
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