Tag Archives: peace

Health

Are You Barely Hanging On?

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“Are You Barely Hanging On?” by Joan Y. Edwards

Thank you, Pixabay.

AreAre you barely hanging on? Is your Velcro grip slipping? I hope you get the peace of mind that you need to hang on. I hope you find the peace for which you search. I can tell you this. It’s going to get better.

What will make it better? 

Your attitude and mindset will make it better. Changing your expectations and accepting things as they are now will make it better. If someone has hurt you, you’re not accepting that it was right for them to hurt you. What you are accepting is that you are hurt and you can’t undo the hurt, but you can change the way you think and act in the future. The key to changing emotion is motion. Moving your body will make it better. Taking 10 minutes of positive action will make it better.

Tony Robbins says, “… all emotions serve you…negative emotions are merely calls to action. For example, if you feel frustrated it means that you believe things could be better, and they’re not. This is a call to action telling you there’s something you must do to make this better now. 

Here are 7 Suggestions to gain wisdom and calmness to help you through this struggle to survive what happened.

  1. Take a deep breath.

    Say aloud three things for which you are thankful.

    Straighten up the clothing in your chest of drawers.

  2. Take a deep breath.

    Say aloud three people you are thankful are your friends.

    Walk around the house three times.

  3. Take a deep breath.
    Say aloud. God I need you now.
    Lay down and take a short nap.

  4. Take a deep breath.
    Say aloud 3 things you’d like to get done today.
    Sing your favorite song.

  5. Look in the mirror. Take a deep breath.

    Say aloud. I am good-looking!

    Give yourself a thumbs up sign.

  6. Look in the mirror. Take a deep breath.

    Say aloud. I forgive myself and others. I wipe the slate clean.

    God wipes my slates clean.

  7. Take a deep breath.

    Name 3 things that are fun for you.

    Do one of them today as soon as you can.

Accept the things you cannot change. The Serenity Prayer may help you. You cannot change someone else. Many times you cannot even change yourself. However, when you accept yourself or situations as they are, you can often see what you can do to make the situation better for you.

Forgive yourself and others. There is a lot going on in your life right now. There are so many things going on that you think you’ve lost control of your life. You hear about other people’s problems, too. That compounds the pressure inside your brain. Many things are going wrong in our world today.

Keep on going. You can do this. Detoxify tense subjects inside your brain, so that the next time you think about this subject, you are calm and peaceful.  The Lord’s Prayer is calming for me.

When you resist the pressures put on you by yourself or others. C.G. Jung reminds us that what we resist lives on and on and on. In other words, “What we resist persists.” What we focus on, we are going to get more of. We attract what we think about…what we are worried about. Perhaps say the opposite of what you’ve been saying. Instead of I am a dumb clutz, say, I am graceful and keep my balance.

What problem are you resisting? Brianna Wiest says that what you see as wrong in others may be something wrong in yourself that you’ve overlooked.

Perhaps you’ve been listening to others and no one’s been listening to you. Each time you talk to someone who has terrible stuff going on, you get more depressed. That’s not right. It shouldn’t be happening that way.  You are not responsible for other people’s problems, including your parents, your spouse, your brother, or your sister. Each of you is responsible for your own problems.

Kirsten Lind Seal says, “Don’t put all your expectations for socializing, love, and affection into your marriage. Don’t spend 100% of the time with each other. Communication is key. Be kind about it.”

God may not come early, but He won’t be late. Based on 2 Peter 3

Remember that God expects you to trust Him absolutely even in hopeless situations. John 11:40

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Thank you for reading my blog. I hope you’ll share with me and other readers how you calm yourself when you are upset.  I hope my suggestions and resources help you. Resources follow my signature.

Never Give Up
Joan Y. Edwards, Author
Flip Flap Floodle
Joan’s Elder Care Guide

Copyright © 2019 Joan Y. Edwards

Resources

  1. Abigail Brenne. Amanda Linehan. “35 Quick Ways to Find Yourself Again?” https://amandalinehan.com/35-quick-ways-to-find-yourself-again/

  2. Brianna Wiest. “18 Ways to Detox Your Mind without Having to Go Completely Off the Grid:” https://thoughtcatalog.com/brianna-wiest/2015/07/18-ways-to-detox-your-mind-without-having-to-go-completely-off-the-grid/

  3. Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. “Boundaries in Marriage – Not Responsible for Your Mate:” https://www.boundariesbooks.com/boundaries-in-marriage/not-responsible-for-your-mate/

  4. Jeanette Bridoux. “How To Change Your Mindset for Better Relationships With Others & Yourself:” https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=41&v=EZ958J066iMHN

  5. Joyce Meyer. “Hang in There. Help is on the Way:” https://joycemeyer.org/everydayanswers/ea-teachings/hang-in-there-help-is-on-the-way

  6. Kirsten Lind. “How to Manage Marriage after Retirement:” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Ago8CUH9a0

  7. Linda Esposito. “3 Essential Exercises to Calm Anxiety:” https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/anxiety-zen/201701/3-essential-exercises-calm-anxiety

  8. “Marriage VLog: When Expectations Wreck Your Marriage:” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWF0RIdffGI

  9. Newlyweds Dish. “How Do You Split Up the Marriage Roles in Your House?” https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=45&v=gow2cQPI86Q

  10. Noam Shpancer Ph.D. “Action Creates Emotion:” https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/insight-therapy/201010/action-creates-emotion

  11. Reinhold Niebuhr. “Serenity Prayer:” Serenity Prayer – Wikipedia

  12. Tanya J. Peterson. “Ways to Cope with Anxiety:” https://www.healthyplace.com/self-help/anxiety/coping-skills-for-anxiety-ways-to-cope-with-anxiety

Health, Spiritual

10 Paths to Inner Peace

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“10 Paths to Inner Peace” by Joan Y. Edwards

The older I get, the more I realize that we human beings want control of ourselves and others. We want control of our environment. Guess what! It’s very tricky.

Inner peace is an absence of mental anxiety! Do you find it difficult to go with the flow? Do you find your inner peace stifled or trampled daily? Do you want to stop things from going the way they seem to be heading? Are you on a path to Crashville?

1. Pray to your creator and Trust in Him. He has a plan for you.

Pray to God and ask him for help. Tell him all of the things that are bothering you. Tell him every single thing that is bugging you and keeping your from being at peace.  Visit your church, synagogue, house of prayer, temple, mosque, etc. I find that when I go to church and pray that I feel a little closer to God.  However, I know that God is with me all the time. It helps me to emotionally be calmer to make a visit to the church.

2. Rest. Meditate. Say Positive Things Aloud and Silently.

Visualize images of beauty and calmness. Play music that calms you. Say good things about yourself. Take time to rest.
I am lovable. I am kind. What I do matters. What I hope for matters. My emotions are real; neither good nor bad; neither right nor wrong.

3. Accept Things as They Are.

What’s odd is that in order to change things, you first have to accept them as they are. For this reason, it’s good to go with the flow. If you’re in a tube going down the Tuckasegee River, I can tell you from personal experience that it’s easier to float downstream if you’re going with the flow.

If you’re walking down a busy sidewalk, it’s much easier to go with the flow – everyone walking on the right hand side. Otherwise, you end up weaving in and out of people and bumping the whole way.
Many times you may have difficulty accepting others as they are. You desperately want to change them.

Perhaps that’s why I became a teacher, hoping I could persuade children with problem behaviors to change. I thought that if they were educated with the pros and cons of different types of behaviors and their consequences they would choose healthier, more positive behaviors. But you see, you can’t change other people. Those other people have to change themselves.

It’s nice to have people agree with you every once in a while, it gives you a good feeling of belonging. However, it’s not good to give up your strong beliefs that you know are right to be in agreement with others.

Some people are power hungry…more money…more power. More power, more control over others.

4. Love Yourself and Others. Take time for you.

Peace is being happy with who you are and your circumstances, whatever they might be. I love to hear the scripture that says that God created each of us for a certain purpose. Without us, the world would not have something that it needs to survive.  The name we were given at birth is significant for us. God gave new names to people in the Bible when they came to an aha moment. 

5. Forgive Yourself and Others 

The greatest gift you can give yourself and other people in your life is your forgiveness. Each day you carry anger around, it makes a negative impact on your health. Lighten your load. Take steps to let someone you’ve been angry with for hours, days, months, or years off the hook. Realize that they are human, just like you. And that just like you, they are not perfect. If there has been anger on both sides of the fence, your releasing your anger and allowing them to be as they are, may give them the freedom to change, too.

6. Perform Three Simple Tasks

Make a list of things that need to be done for your home surroundings or for yourself. Then choose three activities and do them. It’s amazing how getting things done makes you feel empowered. You realize that you can control doing a few things. It also frees your mind to think of solutions. It frees your mind to think of other things.

7. Research to Find Alternative Beliefs and Solutions to the Problems at Hand

Look up information about your problem online, in books, or through talking with others. Sometimes through explaining the situation to another person, you come to the solution in your mind. 

8. Watch Funny Movies and Television Shows. Read Funny Books.

Laughter is healing. It releases endorphins that help you feel calmer on the inside. It releases the negative emotions: sad, mad, powerless feelings that seem to be stuck. Even fake laughs help loosen the grip these emotions have on you. Laughter is like oil for your car. It’s essential to keeping you going.

9. Walk. Exercise. Breathe.

Exercising the body releases endorphins that help you feel calmer on the inside, too. Walk inside your house or outside your house. Walk around the outside of your house. Ride an exercise bike. Walk to the corner and back. Walk around the outside of your house. 

10. Eat the Right Foods for You. Eat Healthy.

Eat. Drink plenty of water. Too many carbs, too much sugar, too much caffeine!  Look out for these and other foods that can put you in jeopardy. They can steal your joy.  Try to stay in the Goldilocks section. Not too much. Not too little. Just right.

11. Focus on What You Want

What you focus on is what you get. What you spend your time, thoughts, and spoken words on is what you’re going to get. Accept that the opposite could happen. Accept that the bad thing that you’re so afraid of could happen. But then also accept and focus on what you want to happen. Then take the necessary steps to start the ball rolling in that direction.

12. Meet with a friend. Call for Help. 

We need social connections to survive. Being with other people gives us endorphins, too. If you’re overwhelmed, call for help. Ask a friend. Join a support group. Ask for professional help if you need it. Everyone may need counseling at some time in their life. I went through counseling one time in my life. Everyone needs help once in a while. You don’t have to go through this alone. You’re not alone. Others care about you.  

Resources

  1. Daily Mind. “How to Go with the Flow:” http://www.thedailymind.com/how-to/go-with-the-flow/
  2. Free Dictionary. “Definition of Peace: http://www.thefreedictionary.com/peace 
  3. Huffington Post. “10 Kind Things to Tell Yourself Every Day:”  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/01/10/kind-things-to-tell-yourself_n_4570376.html
  4. I am Fearless Soul. “5 Steps to Finding Peace within Yourself:” https://iamfearlesssoul.com/5-steps-to-finding-peace-within-yourself-and-how-to-keep-it/
  5. Learning Mind. “Effective Ways to Find Peace within Yourself:” https://www.learning-mind.com/effective-ways-to-find-peace-within-yourself/
  6. Mountain Crisis Services. “34 Things You Should Know about Yourself:”  http://www.mountaincrisisservices.org/domestic-violence/34-things-you-should-kno
  7. Operation Meditation. “5 Tips to Finding Peace within Yourself.” http://operationmeditation.com/discover/5-tips-to-finding-peace-within-yourself/
  8. Psychology Today. “Smashing the Brain Blocks: 4 Ways to Go with the Flow Even When It Seems Impossible.” https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/smashing-the-brainblocks/201606/4-ways-go-the-flow-even-when-it-seems-impossible
  9. Thesaurus. “Go with the Flow:” http://www.thesaurus.com/browse/go-with-the-flow
  10. Tiny Buddha. “8 Tips to Feel at Peace with Yourself.” https://tinybuddha.com/blog/8-tips-to-feel-at-peace-with-yourself/
  11. Wikihow. “Go with the Flow:” https://www.wikihow.com/Go-With-the-Flow
  12. Wikihow. “How to Release Endorphins:” https://www.wikihow.com/Release-Endorphins
  13. Your Life, Your Voice. “101 Positive Things to Say to Myself:” http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/Pages/tip-101-positive-things-to-say-to-myself.aspx
  14. Zen Habits. “12 Practical Steps for Learning to Go with the Flow:” https://zenhabits.net/12-practical-steps-for-learning-to-go-with-the-flow/

Live with Enthusiasm
Celebrate Each Step You Take

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Never Give Up
Joan Y. Edwards, Author
Copyright © 2017-2018 Joan Y. Edwards
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