Tag Archives: forgive yourself

Health

Are You Barely Hanging On?

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“Are You Barely Hanging On?” by Joan Y. Edwards

Thank you, Pixabay.

AreAre you barely hanging on? Is your Velcro grip slipping? I hope you get the peace of mind that you need to hang on. I hope you find the peace for which you search. I can tell you this. It’s going to get better.

What will make it better? 

Your attitude and mindset will make it better. Changing your expectations and accepting things as they are now will make it better. If someone has hurt you, you’re not accepting that it was right for them to hurt you. What you are accepting is that you are hurt and you can’t undo the hurt, but you can change the way you think and act in the future. The key to changing emotion is motion. Moving your body will make it better. Taking 10 minutes of positive action will make it better.

Tony Robbins says, “… all emotions serve you…negative emotions are merely calls to action. For example, if you feel frustrated it means that you believe things could be better, and they’re not. This is a call to action telling you there’s something you must do to make this better now. 

Here are 7 Suggestions to gain wisdom and calmness to help you through this struggle to survive what happened.

  1. Take a deep breath.

    Say aloud three things for which you are thankful.

    Straighten up the clothing in your chest of drawers.

  2. Take a deep breath.

    Say aloud three people you are thankful are your friends.

    Walk around the house three times.

  3. Take a deep breath.
    Say aloud. God I need you now.
    Lay down and take a short nap.

  4. Take a deep breath.
    Say aloud 3 things you’d like to get done today.
    Sing your favorite song.

  5. Look in the mirror. Take a deep breath.

    Say aloud. I am good-looking!

    Give yourself a thumbs up sign.

  6. Look in the mirror. Take a deep breath.

    Say aloud. I forgive myself and others. I wipe the slate clean.

    God wipes my slates clean.

  7. Take a deep breath.

    Name 3 things that are fun for you.

    Do one of them today as soon as you can.

Accept the things you cannot change. The Serenity Prayer may help you. You cannot change someone else. Many times you cannot even change yourself. However, when you accept yourself or situations as they are, you can often see what you can do to make the situation better for you.

Forgive yourself and others. There is a lot going on in your life right now. There are so many things going on that you think you’ve lost control of your life. You hear about other people’s problems, too. That compounds the pressure inside your brain. Many things are going wrong in our world today.

Keep on going. You can do this. Detoxify tense subjects inside your brain, so that the next time you think about this subject, you are calm and peaceful.  The Lord’s Prayer is calming for me.

When you resist the pressures put on you by yourself or others. C.G. Jung reminds us that what we resist lives on and on and on. In other words, “What we resist persists.” What we focus on, we are going to get more of. We attract what we think about…what we are worried about. Perhaps say the opposite of what you’ve been saying. Instead of I am a dumb clutz, say, I am graceful and keep my balance.

What problem are you resisting? Brianna Wiest says that what you see as wrong in others may be something wrong in yourself that you’ve overlooked.

Perhaps you’ve been listening to others and no one’s been listening to you. Each time you talk to someone who has terrible stuff going on, you get more depressed. That’s not right. It shouldn’t be happening that way.  You are not responsible for other people’s problems, including your parents, your spouse, your brother, or your sister. Each of you is responsible for your own problems.

Kirsten Lind Seal says, “Don’t put all your expectations for socializing, love, and affection into your marriage. Don’t spend 100% of the time with each other. Communication is key. Be kind about it.”

God may not come early, but He won’t be late. Based on 2 Peter 3

Remember that God expects you to trust Him absolutely even in hopeless situations. John 11:40

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Thank you for reading my blog. I hope you’ll share with me and other readers how you calm yourself when you are upset.  I hope my suggestions and resources help you. Resources follow my signature.

Never Give Up
Joan Y. Edwards, Author
Flip Flap Floodle
Joan’s Elder Care Guide

Copyright © 2019 Joan Y. Edwards

Resources

  1. Abigail Brenne. Amanda Linehan. “35 Quick Ways to Find Yourself Again?” https://amandalinehan.com/35-quick-ways-to-find-yourself-again/

  2. Brianna Wiest. “18 Ways to Detox Your Mind without Having to Go Completely Off the Grid:” https://thoughtcatalog.com/brianna-wiest/2015/07/18-ways-to-detox-your-mind-without-having-to-go-completely-off-the-grid/

  3. Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. “Boundaries in Marriage – Not Responsible for Your Mate:” https://www.boundariesbooks.com/boundaries-in-marriage/not-responsible-for-your-mate/

  4. Jeanette Bridoux. “How To Change Your Mindset for Better Relationships With Others & Yourself:” https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=41&v=EZ958J066iMHN

  5. Joyce Meyer. “Hang in There. Help is on the Way:” https://joycemeyer.org/everydayanswers/ea-teachings/hang-in-there-help-is-on-the-way

  6. Kirsten Lind. “How to Manage Marriage after Retirement:” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Ago8CUH9a0

  7. Linda Esposito. “3 Essential Exercises to Calm Anxiety:” https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/anxiety-zen/201701/3-essential-exercises-calm-anxiety

  8. “Marriage VLog: When Expectations Wreck Your Marriage:” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWF0RIdffGI

  9. Newlyweds Dish. “How Do You Split Up the Marriage Roles in Your House?” https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=45&v=gow2cQPI86Q

  10. Noam Shpancer Ph.D. “Action Creates Emotion:” https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/insight-therapy/201010/action-creates-emotion

  11. Reinhold Niebuhr. “Serenity Prayer:” Serenity Prayer – Wikipedia

  12. Tanya J. Peterson. “Ways to Cope with Anxiety:” https://www.healthyplace.com/self-help/anxiety/coping-skills-for-anxiety-ways-to-cope-with-anxiety

Health, Spiritual

You Are Forgiving

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“You Are Forgiving” by Joan Y. Edwards

Are you forgiving? My answer for you is:
Yes, you are forgiving. You forgive yourself and others. You accept yourself and others. You are at peace with yourself and others.
Repeat these statements with “I” rather than “You” to make them true affirmations for you.
Yes, I am forgiving. I forgive myself and others. I accept myself and others. I am at peace with myself and others.

When others doubt your strength, you may do a little doubting yourself. It’s important to instill in yourself an unwavering belief in your strengths. Believe it is possible that you forgive yourself and others.

Meditate. Pray. Talk with your spiritual minister or counselor. They may help you see how to forgive.
Jesus Christ was one person who told us the benefits of forgiveness. Here are New Testament quotes that might be meaningful to you.

  • Matthew 6:14-15 “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
  • Mark 11:25 “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”
  • John 8:7 “When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.”

Alexander Pope says, “To err is human; to forgive divine.”
Lewis B. Smedes says, “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”

The Lord’s Prayer is my favorite prayer:”And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.”

 

Love yourself as you are. Thank God for your loving ability to forgive yourself and others. When you’re thankful for things, you receive more of it.

 

After my divorce from my first husband, I joined Parents without Partners. I couldn’t believe the anger that a woman I met had for her husband. She had been divorced for ten years. If he had been standing in front of her, I believe her rage was so strong that we would have to restrain her to keep her from killing him.

 

I have heard other people relate how they were mistreated in circumstances long gone by 30 years or more and they are still angry with those who did something they didn’t like…in their eyes, others had mistreated them.

 

I ask these people, “What is that person doing now? What is the person who hurt you so much thinking about? Is he thinking about you? Has he gone past this situation or is he stuck in the same frame in the video of his life as you are. Or has he let go and gotten on with trying to be a better person and learned from the experience.

 

Many times they realize that this experience is having an adverse effect on their lives now when the event happened many years ago. If there are instances like that in your life, I pray that God give you the help you need to forgive and fill that part of your body and heart with love.

 

Forgiveness is a choice. The benefits of forgiveness are many. It helps you physically release tension and relax. Relaxation mode is healing. Spiritually, it is good Karma. What goes around, comes around. The way you treat others is the way others will treat you.

 

Here are resources to help you find forgiveness:
  1. Bible Study Tools. “Forgiveness:” http://www.biblestudytools.com/topical-verses/forgiveness-bible-verses/
  2. Brainy Quotes. “Forgiveness:” http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_forgiveness.html/
  3. Got Questions. “What is the meaning of the Parable of the Prodigal Son?” http://www.gotquestions.org/parable-prodigal-son.html/
  4. Kate Swoboda. “How to Forgive When You Don’t Really Want to:” http://tinybuddha.com/blog/how-to-forgive-when-you-dont-really-want-to/
  5. Phillip Moffittt. “Forgiving the Unforgiveable:” http://dharmawisdom.org/teachings/articles/forgiving-unforgivable

Never Give Up
Joan Y. Edwards
Copyright © 2016 Joan Y. Edwards