Thank you to Ryan McGuire and Pixaby for this image called “Argument>”
“To Add Tension, Use Short Sentences and Words” by Joan Y. Edwards
As a writer, the way your put your story together helps the reader get excited about your story. Where there is stress, anxiety, or tension, shorten your sentences and your words for the action.
If things are going smoothly and no change is in the wind, long sentences relax the reader. Don’t make them too long! Don’t make all the sentences the same length. You don’t want to put the reader to sleep or get bored. You want each sentence to add to the spark of your story.
Here are a few examples from books or movies to help you understand the use of short sentences to increase the tension, anxiety for your action.
1. Tomorrow Never Dies by Bruce Feirstein
Can you feature the humor that would come about with a James Bond movie with the script with a lot of long dialogue when James Bond is hanging in the air over a waterfall.
Instead of: “There has to be an easier way to earn
a living.” suppose he said,
“I’ve done a study of different occupations in the United States and Russia: teacher, policeman, cashier, football player, and doctor. One of them has to be an easier way to earn a living. “
2. Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White
“Where’s Papa going with that ax?” said Fern to her mother as they were setting the table for breakfast.
The opening paragraphs of the book are short. A lot of friction going on because Fern’s father is planning to kill the runt of the litter of pigs. It would have been harder to read a long drawn out description of the pig, the farm, and of Fern, what she was wearing, etc.
3. Back to the Future by Robert Zemeckis and Bob Gale
Go to line 210 of script-
Marty’s afraid that Brown will be killed by the terrorists. Notice the short sentences and short words at the part where he’s going back to the future.
Marty says, “Oh No. I’m too late.”
4. Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell
In 1936 Margaret Mitchell wrote a history of the Civil War in Gone with the Wind
Scarlett O”Hara says, “Where shall I go?”
Rhett Butler says: Frankly, my dear. I don’t give a …..
5. Liar, Liar written by Paul Guay and Stephen Mazur
In each of the six examples above, the sentences and words are short to help create tension, and suspense in books or movies.
What are some of your favorite sentences or groups of sentences that give readers the full tension of the story because of their brevity in words or length?
Thank you to the people who left a comment and shared their writing.
For the Contest – However, no one posted a story about the woman hitting the man in the chin with the boxing glove.
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“Stop Boredom! Vary the Beginnings of Your Sentences” by Joan Y. Edwards
Vary the beginnings of your sentences to incite interest and keep boredom from putting your readers to sleep. First, I’ll explain the different parts of speech. Then I will give you two writing exercises. I hope you enjoy them. I’ll do them, too. We’ll compare notes in the comment area.
Parts of Speech:
noun
name of person, place, or thing: Jacob, Denver, stapler.
pronoun
word used that refers to an earlier mentioned person, place, or thing. He, she, it, we, you, they, them, etc.
verb
action word or state of being
adjective
description of noun or pronoun
Adjectives are describing words: Jane wore a yellow scarf. She needed a heavy jacket. The words – a, an, the – are special adjectives called articles. Articles are words that determine whether the noun following it is a certain, definite noun or an indefinite one, meaning any, not a specific one. For example: There is a book on the table. She is an angel. Jacob is the winner.
preposition
Hunter College Reading Writing Center states that a preposition is a connecting word that shows the relationship of a noun or a noun substitute to another word in the sentence. Here are nine most used prepositions: at, by, for, from, in, of, on,to, with. Here are others: about, after, along, around, beside, between, over, through, under, up Many phrases that explain which, where, when, why, or how use prepositions.
The girl with the feather stood up. (Which girl? The girl with the feather)
He went to the party. (Where did he go? to the party)
The team played with great vigor. (How did the team play? with great vigor)
The players drank plenty of water after the game,. (When did they drink plenty of water? after the game)
Jacob ran for shelter. (Why did Jacob run? for shelter)
adverb
word that describes a verb by answering the question when, where, why, how, and under what conditions something happened or happens. Many adverbs end in -ly. Not all words that end in -ly are adverbs: like lovely, lonely, and motherly are adjectives, not adverbs.
Jacob raced the car yesterday. (When did Jacob race the car? Yesterday)
The student walked here. (Where did the student walk? Here)
Jacob drove fast. (How did Jacob drive? fast)
Cecilia planted grass to stop erosion. (Why did Cecilia plant seeds? to stop erosion. This is an infinitive adverbial phrase that answers the question why?)
conjunction
is a word that joins or connects parts of a sentence: words to words, phrases to phrases, or clauses to clauses. Here are examples of coordinating conjunctions that join parts of sentences that are the same: and, but, for, nor, or, so, yet
Subordinating conjunctions that join dependent clauses to independent clauses are: after, although, as, as if, as long as, as though, because, before, even if, even though, if, if only, in order that, now that, once, rather than, since, so that, than, that, though, till, unless, until, when, whenever, where, whereas, wherever, while.
Info about conjunctions: http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/conjunctions.htm
Many of us begin most of our sentences the same way. Sometimes we do it for effect. Other times, we may be focusing on the plot and not in the sentence structure. Here is an exercise to help you practice beginning sentences that are related in paragraph format.
Print this blog post.
Now that you know what the parts of speech are, copy and print page 3 of your manuscript, page 30 or 100 of the same or a different manuscript. After you do the WRITING EXERCISE 2 today, place a tally mark in the column for the part of speech that begins your sentences. I included adjectives and articles separately, because I believe many times we start too many sentences with articles.
Parts of Speech
Writing Samplespart of speech for beginning of each sentence.
Page 3 novelor all pages of picture book
Page 30 or 100or all pages of picture book
20 Random Words Writing exercise
Noun
Pronoun
Adjective
Articles (a,an,the)
Verb
Adverb
Preposition
Conjunction
Interjection
WRITING EXERCISE 2:
Use the 20 words below in a story. Write a new story, use characters from a work in progress, or use a character from your favorite book. 16 words that can be used as nouns, 8 words that can be used as verbs. 6 words that can be used as adjectives. Several can be used as both nouns and verbs; others can be used as both nouns and adjectives.
Set the timer for 20 minutes. Write your story using as many of these 20 words as possible..
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