“Are You Grumpy? Me, Too.” by Joan Y. Edwards
One morning you wake up feeling what is best described as grumpy. There is no one around. No one caused it. Across from you in the mirror is this big grumpy bear.
You say to yourself. This reflection can’t be right. You check in another mirror. There facing you is a man who is so angry, he’s turned into a huge muscular man as green as the Hulk.
Thinking this must be a dream. You go to a third mirror in your house. You ease up on it slowly. You don’t know what to expect. There in the third mirror is an image of you crying tears, lots of tears.
You sit down on the floor. You cry and cry along with the lady in the mirror.
How can this be? Why are the multitudes of emotions hitting you at one time? Why today?
If you’re like me, you may never know all the reasons why. You may not actually know any of the reasons why. However, being human, you may want a place to put the blame. Someone to blame for your grumpiness, your anger, your sadness.
Today many people blame the Corona Virus. It’s partly to blame.
Another thing to blame is that you are not perfect. You are human. Sometimes the stress of everything creeps up on you and weakens your immune system. In this immune system is your emotional ability to cope with stress.
In times of stress, the “Me, Myself, and I” within you, the voices of your inner critic get busy talking against you.
“You’re dumb.”
“You’re not fast enough.”
“You can’t do anything right.”
“You’ll never get what you want.”
“You’re hopeless.”
In your defense, you start blaming the person or the thing you believe is causing you stress.
First thing to do is accept that it is okay to be grumpy, angry, and sad or a combination of all these emotions and more. Accepting yourself as you are is a way to strengthen your immune system.
Second thing is to say good things about yourself. Declare positive things about you to offset the negative voice that shouts at you from within. Your inner spirit will listen to these declarations. If you say them often, the recordings of good words will play in your head more than the negative ones.
“I am smart and wise.”
“I am fast enough to do the things I deem essential.”
“I can do many things right.”
“I get almost everything I want and many things I never dreamed were possible for me to achieve.”
“I believe I can achieve many things. I am full of hope.”
The third thing to do when you’re feeling grumpy is to do something fun. Even a small thing such as drinking hot chocolate or feeding the birds.
There are many other things to do when you get grumpy. How do you handle it when you are grumpy?
When I’m grumpy, I watch a good movie with a happy ending or listen to my favorite music. Music can change your mood in a hurry.
Other Resources to Help
- “Five Ways to Get Your Inner Critic to Shut Up:” https://www.publicationcoach.com/5-ways-to-get-your-inner-critic-to-shut-up/
- “Five Immediate and Easy Ways to Silence Your Inner Critic:”https://tinybuddha.com/blog/5-immediate-and-easy-ways-to-silence-your-inner-critic/
- “Four Ways to Overcome Your inner Critic:” https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/compassion-matters/201305/4-ways-overcome-your-inner-critic
Please leave a comment. What do you do when you get grumpy?
Never Give Up
Joan Y. Edwards, Author
Copyright © 2009-2021 Joan Y. Edwards
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Yeah for feeding the birds, watering plants, and getting outside in the sun! Reading the psalms and meditating on the greatness of our God too. Your grumpiness, can also be grief, dear Joan. It’s still the first year. It’s tough.
Dear Carol,
Great ideas for sharing what to do when you get grumpy! Thanks for sharing them. Yes, part of my grumpiness could be grief. Thanks for your compassion for me.
Never Give Up
Joan
I love you, Joan! Give yourself the sp[ace you would give someone else. Be kind to yourself.
Dear Pamela,
Thank you for writing. I’m doing fine. I accept myself as i am.
Love you.
Never Give Up
Joan
Dear Joan,
Where did I go wrong, I shouldn’t have said, I wish I’d said that. I should have gone there, but I didn’t. All of these negatives can have a cumulative effect on the psyche and make one feel sad leading to grumpy.
Also the loss of a close one can cause a depressive state. The why me, what have I done to deserve this thoughts can bear down on you and cause negative thoughts.
Of course it’s easy for the outsiders to say, ‘you’ll be fine, time will heal.’ But they don’t know the inner thoughts.
Allowing negative thoughts can cause depression, which is as a result of a chemical imbalance in the brain.
Some can pull through on their own, some need help of medication, others can work it through on their own.
Keep busy is one way provided it is bust in a positive way, not in a negative way.
When as a Detective Sgt in the UK Police I dealt with many serious cases along with others, including murders rapes and child abuse. The rape victims suffered badly from their ordeal. Some never got over it. I remember one young girl crying on my shoulder saying I’m never going out again, no one will ever want me now I feel so dirty. I sat her up saying ‘look at me, don’t let the asshole who did this to you, spoil the rest of your life. I you ever feel down, please call me and lets have a coffee and a chat.’ She went on to have a lovely family and often called me to thank me.
Don’t let this instance take the rest of your life, hard I know, but I have also seen others destroy themselves from within, because they wouldn’t let anyone in to help, or to hold out a hand seek help.
You have a lot going for you keep strong look to the future a bright future. Yes we all have a down day, but keep looking for the bright skies and the rainbow, they are there you just need to look.
We have a conversation going, use me, abuse me, I have a good listening ear. Big hug X
Dear David,
Thank you for your compassion and caring. You have great advice. Thank you for taking the time to share it with me. You are a good friend. Thanks for being on this life journey with me.
Never Give Up
Joan
I love a good movie or book with a happy ending when I’m sad. They cheer me right up. Pain makes me grumpy, but that should be fixed (I don’t think it will be 100% eliminated) next week.
Dear Melanie,
Thank you for sharing. You and I are alike in we like to watch movies or read books with happy endings when we are sad. They cheer me up and I find myself laughing again. Ouch! Pain definitely puts a damper on the good feelings. I’m sorry you’ve been going through so much pain with your hip. I am excited and hopeful that your upcoming hip replacement will erase that intense ongoing pain you’ve been enduring this last year. I’m praying for your surgery to be 100% successful! Sorry your sweet hubby won’t be able to be there by your side because of Covid. Love you. Thanks for being my friend.
Never Give Up
Joan
Joan,
Some days, it’s hard to “put on a happy face.” You may not always find a smile there, but I think you do more than you don’t. As you tell others, “Be kind to yourself.”
I like it when you and I exchange humorous stories, especially about dumb things we’ve done. Yesterday, I shared one with you and I appreciated that you shared one in return. Thank goodness for great friendships!!!
Dear Linda,
Thank you for writing and sharing your advice. You’re good at reminding me of the advice I give to others. I am kind to myself. I give myself time to be just as I am. I grant myself a certain amount of time to feel sorry ofr myself. Then I try to motivate myself to move on and find ways to help others. Helping others seems to help me, too. Funny about that.
I do love to share funny stories. Stories that may not have been so funny at first. But the more time that passes then I’m usually able to laugh about a certain experience. I loved sharing with you about the time I put the ice cream in the cabinet. Luckily, I got my brain back in focus and put it in the freezer where it belonged. Or as you say, “No one would have ice cream cones, later.” Funny!
Thanks for being my friend. I love you.
Never Give Up
Joan
Thanks for your well timed blog post especially in the light of the recent killings in Atlanta. Grumpy is a kind word for the beginnings of anger. We need to learn to conquer grumpy before it develops further.
Dear Gretchen,
Thank you for writing and sharing your take on feeling grumpy. Killings are terrible and set all kinds of negative feelings inside us and surround us. You are right. It’s great to learn ways to conquer grumpy before it develops into full-blown, downright ANGER! You understand me, really well. Thanks for being on my life’s journey with me. May All your grumpy days be filtered by love and compassion for yourself and others.
Never Give Up
Joan