Thank you, Pixabay, for this image.
Why Don’t They Listen to Me
There are different stages in life. No one likes to go through what I call, “Nobody Listens to Me.”
When I call someone on the phone, they don’t call me back.
Thank you, Pixabay.
Or I tell someone close to me, “Isn’t that a cute stuffed animal? I had one like it when I was a child.”
The other person says, “That’s a cute stuffed animal. Isn’t it like the one you had when you were a child?”
Or
I’m driving down the road. I say to the person in the car with me. “Look there’s a new Wendy’s restaurant on the right.”
A minute elapses.
The other person says, “Look there’s a new Wendy’s Restaurant on the right.”
You can see the steam coming out of my ears, can’t you?
How do you resolve this problem?
Chances are the other person may not change. They may not have the gift of listening that you are trying to unwrap.
Pray for patience.
Tell God the things no one else hears. He hears and understands every emotion you are feeling.
Figure out a way to laugh.
Be a good listener. Oops. Did you catch yourself not being a good listener…uh oh. Whaat! You are not perfect either. Well. It happens to the best of us, expecially me.
Here are hints:
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
Be a good listener.
Choose when to share important things with others.
If they seem to be worried about something else. Wait until later to share your story.
Do major listening.
Honor the silence.
Don’t tell things with a high priority while the TV is going full blast. When you call someone on the phone, make sure it’s a good time to talk. If not, perhaps they will call you back at a mutually good time..
Don’t tell things with a high priority when the listener is upset about something in his/her life.
Take time to do something fun for you to relax. Chances are you’re too stressed out about other things and this listening thing is just the tip of the iceberg, the frosting on the cake, the skis on the slope.
Pray for patience.
Tell God the things no one else hears. He hears and understands every emotion you are feeling.
Figure out a way to laugh.
Ask the listener to tell you what they heard. Many times the information you share may not be understood in the way you meant. It may have been clear to you, but not so clear to them.
Have a special place to talk. Make sure your needs and the listern’s needs are met. Bathroom, water to drink. Have a special time to talk. Ask them if they will listen.
Try not to complain about someone not listening. It only makes it worse. I know from personal experience. I’ve done this and it doesn’t work.
Thank people when they are good listeners.
I hope that you have someone to listen when you need a listening ear.
There are people willing to listen to you. Look for them. You will find them. If there are no people around to listen, pets and stuffed animals do nicely!
Thank you, Pisabay for this image.
Thank you for reading my blog. You are a great listener. I found a few resources with ideas to help in the listening arena. Please leave a comment about times that trouble you about listening.
Resources
Never Give Up
Joan Y. Edwards, Author
Copyright © 2020 Joan Y. Edwards
Flip Flap Floodle Will this little duck’s song save him from Mr. Fox?
Joan’s Elder Care Guide A guide to solutions for caregivers.
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Thank you for this, Joan. It’s even worse when they listen, and treat you like a guru!
I like your hints on how to maximize the chance that the other person will hear you.
See, I’ve been paying attention!
🙂
Bob
Dear Bob,
Thank you for writing! You are funny! Thanks for sharing about when people do listen. I’m glad you liked the ideas I gave on how to maximize the chance that the other person listen. Thanks for helping me laugh! I think we’ve been friends for ten years now or close to it. Wow! What a blessing you are to me! Thank you.
Never Give Up
Joan
Excellent post as usual, Joan.
Dear Melanie,
Thank you very much for writing. It’s always fun for me to hear from you. I’m glad you liked my post. I hope it helps you if you are ever in this situation where someone’s not listening!
Never Give Up
Joan
We all fail sometimes at being a good listener. You shared some good solid insights here. Some of what I gained from this post was if someone else is carrying a heavy load, they may not be able to be a good listener. Also, it doesn’t pay to tell someone they are not being a good listener. Thanks for these and other reminders. We can all improve with sincere effort. Hope you are listened to and heard today! Love you!
Dear Linda,
Thank you for writing. It is always fun to hear your opinions. You are right. We all fail sometimes at being a good listener. I’m glad you found my ideas helpful. What I discovered when I tell someone they are not a good listener, it compounds the problem because then they are upset with me in addition to the listening problem. It’s such a wonderful feeling when I can let it go and it not matter so much that it has me steaming from the ears, nose, and throat anger! May you have someone to listen when you most need it!
Never Give Up
Joan
Thanks Joan! I have been blessed with some who listen close at hand and others far away. My hope is that I do the same for them.
Dear Linda,
You are a good listener to me.
May you always have someone to listen when you need it.
Never Give Up
Joan
Thank you for reminding us that we all have different gifts, but often expect the same of others as each of us would do. Gifts differing is an important concept to remember.
Dear Pam,
Thank you for writing. It is so good to hear from you. Yes, indeed. We do have different gifts. Sometimes I spend an enormous amount of time trying to control other myself and others. I do it over and over again, even though I know how silly it is. I like it when I can hand it over to God. But, I’m not really good at that. LOVE YOU.
Never Give Up
Joan
Coincidence that you blogged about listening, Joan, as my minister preached a sermon on listening this past Sunday. That set me to thinking and I have decided that listening will be my personal emphasis during Lent. Your post fit right in this morning! Thank you.
Dear Gretchen,
Thank you for writing. That is a coincidence that your minister preached a sermon on listening last Sunday. I know that many people will benefit from your gift of listening with a purpose during Lent.You have always given me the gift of listening to me. Thank you for that.
Never Give Up
Joan
This is such a great article, Joan. I really appreciate honoring the silence, too. Listening is so important, especially today in our technological world where most of our communication is through typing. Talking, listening, hearing through spoken language is precious, and we can all engage, listen, be silent, take it in, and cherish this sharing, this magical moment of connection . Beautiful words, Joan, and I hear you.
Dear Lisa,
Thank you for writing. I’m glad that you liked where I said to honor the silence. You are right. Listening is especially important in our technological world where we don’t get a lot of time in face to face conversation. Perhaps it leaves us with a deficit in being listened to. Thank you for always being a good listener to me in person. Thanks for hearing me in this blog.
Never Give Up
Joan
Great post as always, Joan! I can see myself in it more than I care too, at least my husband would say that. HA HA! Your post has inspired me to stop the old brain and focus on what he and others are saying when they are speaking. See, I listened and retained what you were saying.
Thanks FOR another interesting and inspiring blog.
Dear Sandra,
Thanks for writing. I’m glad that an idea from my listening post inspired you to stop the negative thoughts and focus on what others are saying when they are speaking. Listening to others when you so long to be heard yourself, is an art. I haven’t totally learned it in action, but I’m working on it. Having a sense of humor about it helps, doesn’t it? Do something fun for you today. It’ll help you relax and enjoy being your sweet self. Thank you for being a good listener for me.
Never Give Up
Joan