How Full Is Your Bucket by Tom Rath & Donald O. Clifton, Ph.D.”What I Learned from the book How Full Is Your Bucket” by Joan Y. Edwards
I enjoyed reading How Full Is Your Bucket. They have one written for kids, but I haven’t read it. I listed it in the resources for you.
Sometimes my bucket feels pretty empty. Other times, it’s filled to the brim and running over. The book lists five strategies to keep your bucket full. Here are three of them and my explanation of what they are good.
To Keep Your Bucket Full
1. Shine a light on what is right –
- Focus on what is right. Not what is wrong. If a child has 3As and one F on a report card, where do you usually place your focus. On the F. We need to focus on and celebrate the good points, then others will have confidence that will help them raise the F, too.
- When you get stressed out with many things coming at you from all angles, you sometimes forget to focus on the positive things. Focus on the things you love about people. Focus on the things you’re thankful that they do for you and mean to you. Tell them. Show them.
2. Make Best Friends
- People who have good friends seem to keep a fuller bucket.
3. Reverse the Golden Rule:Do what others would like you to do for them. Not do what you would like others to do for you.
- I think this is something we don’t think about much. It’s the real knowledge of what love is. If your husband hates going to the movies, taking him to the movies on his birthday is probably not something he really wants. However, if he likes to go to a restaurant and eat, then that would be a gift that would fill his bucket better.
- It also suggests of giving equal gifts to two daughters. If one loves ponies and the other doesn’t, it would not be kind to give both girls a pony for their birthdays. Equal in one way, but not equal in ways that means you love them and care about them.
This book also gives you ideas to notice ways that you like to receive positive feedback on you from the workplace, from your friends, and from those you love dearly. The book lists 9 ways. I’ll just list 3 of them:
Ways You Like to Receive Positive Feedback
1. What hobbies or interests do you like to talk about a lot?
- You can honor him and fill his bucket by talking about or asking him about these things.
2. Do you like public, private, written, verbal, or other kinds of recognition?
- If your employee, loved one, or friend cringes when he gets public recognition, you’re not filling his bucket when you praise him in front of others.
- However, if he loves getting written compliments and posts every certificate you give him on the walls of his office, then this is the way to recognize him that will make him feel really good about himself.
3. What is the greatest recognition you have ever received?
- It was interesting to discover that the greatest recognitions many people in his book had received was a small recognition of a teacher telling them they were good at something other people may have told them they were bad at.
- It reminds me of the story about a teacher that told everyone in the class to write down what they liked about each person in their class. They were not allowed to write any negatives. Most of these students saved these lists for the rest of their lives: http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/m/markeklund.htm
- I challenge you today to make a list of all the things you like about someone in your life and give it to them. Try to make it as long as a page. So they can frame it if they like, or fold it and put it in their wallet.
Three Full Bucket Resources
Go to the following link to download 3 pdf files you’re sure to benefit to help you fill your bucket and that of others, too.
http://strengths.gallup.com/115186/Full-Bucket-Resources.aspx
- Gallup Recognition Interview – What to ask your employees, friends, loved ones so that you can interact positively with them
- Positive Impact Test Statements – Affirmations of how you are giving others positive feedback
- Interaction Scoreboard – A great way to improve your interactions with others
Resources:
- Tom Rath & Donald O. Clifton, Ph.D. How Full Is Your Bucket for Kids on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1595620273/
- Tom Rath and Mary Reckmeyer; illustrated by Maurie J. Manning. How Full Is Your Bucket: http://www.amazon.com/How-Full-Is-Your-Bucket/dp/1595620036
- http://strengths.gallup.com/115186/Full-Bucket-Resources.aspx Three great pdfs to download on the above page:
- Gallup Recognition Interview – What to ask your employees, friends, loved ones so that you can interact positively with them
- Positive Impact Test Statements – Affirmations of how you are giving others positive feedback
- Interaction Scoreboard – A great way to improve your interactions with others
- Titles of Strength Based Books: http://strengths.gallup.com/110254/StrengthsBased-Books.aspx
I hope that reading this has helped you learn something about yourself and that you realize the ways you already fill another person’s bucket with good thoughts about himself to last a lifetime. It may also give you a clue about how you like for others to recognize you so that you can share that with our best friend.
Please leave a comment telling me about the greatest recognition you have ever had or something you’ve found to help you keep your good feelings in your bucket high.
Focus on the positive about you and those you love.
Celebrate you and those you love.
Never Give Up
Joan Y. Edwards
Copyright © 2013 Joan Y. Edwards
My greatest recognitions are these: MY daughter recently told me that she is so grateful to me for raising her right. I was taken back with her expression of love and gratitude. The other greatest recognition was when my son told me that all of his accomplishments are because of me. I was honored to be so appreciated. Both of my children are humanitarians, and have accomplished much in their young lives. To be recognized as giving a contribution to their achievements is joy.
Dear Susan,
Thank you for sharing your greatest recognitions with me. I share in your joy. What an awesome feeling it must be to have that recognition from your daughter and son that you have made a great contribution to their lives! I am so happy for you and proud of you and your children.
Celebrate you.
Celebrate your children.
Never Give Up
Joan Y. Edwards
Wonderful post, as usual, Joan! My greatest recognition so far has definitely come from my kids–my boys tell me all the time that I am the best mommy in the world. This means so much, no matter how often I hear it!
Dear Becky,
Thanks for writing and sharing your greatest recognition – your boys telling you that “You are the best Mommy in the world.” Special recognition is like a song, we never tire of singing it over and over in our minds.
Celebrate you and your twin boys!
Never Give Up
Joan Y. Edwards
One’s glass (bucket) is either half full or half empty…. our choice. Thanks for a timely post, Joan.
Dear Maureen,
You are so right. One’s glass (buckets) is either half full or half empty depending upon our choice of how to look at things that are going on in our lives. You’re welcome for the post. I’m glad it’s timely for you! Thanks for leaving your sweet words of wisdom.
Celebrate your vision of your life being more than half full.
Never Give Up
Joan Y. Edwards
The greatest recognition I ever received is my husband saying I was a great mother to our kids, and all of them being successful in college and having good careers after I homeschooled them for most of their years. The reward didn’t really show until late, my eldest, who really struggled, just used his GI Bill to graduate magna cum laude for his BA and my youngest was one of a few in his class to get a job as a nurse where he went to school. He always said every night to me, “Thanks for teaching me Mom.”
Dear Megan, HappyinHim,
It is really good to hear from you. What a great and awesome recognition from you husband telling you that you were a great mother to your kids, and all of them being successful in college and having good careers after you homeschooled them for most of their years. I am very proud of you and your love of your husband and your kids. God is proud of all of you, but especially proud of you for showing them the way.
Celebrate you and your love of family,
Never Give Up
Joan Y. Edwards
Joan,
Lately, people have been so good about filling my bucket. They reach out to me because of my husband’s illness and send “thinking of you” notes, lovely CDs, prepare a meal, call to let me know they care, etc. It really fills me up. We’re very blessed. Tonight, the EMT came by to check on us three times after getting my husband to a treatment room. She certainly didn’t have to do that. Those acts of kindness warm your heart and make your bucket overflow.
Dear Linda,
I am very glad that people have been reaching out to you and Scotty during this time when he has been so sick with breathing problems. I join these people. I want to let you and Scotty know how much you mean to me. I pray that Scotty will heal. Love you. Celebrate you and your caring for others.
Never Give Up
Joan Y. Edwards
Joan, interesting and positive post. Number 3 is similar to the marketing strategy of writing for the reader, not for yourself and creating products that are needed by others, not what you would necessarily need. Yikes, I seems to be always thinking in terms of marketing.
In regard to being positive and seeing the positive, this is so important in life and work. I believe in positive thinking and projection.
I’m with Maureen on having the choice for the cup to be half full or half empty.
Dear Karen,
Thanks for writing. Indeed it is interesting that you write for the reader, not for yourself and create products that are needed by others, even though you might not need it yourself. You are right, the positive is very important in helping us survive.
Celebrate you and your marketing savvy,
Never Give Up
Joan Y. Edwards
Hi Joan,
Glad to see so many wonderful comments.
I never thought about the Golden Rule that way. Great idea! 🙂
Dear Tracy,
Thanks for reading my blog. It was indeed great to see so many wonderful comments and a lot of them told meaningful ways they were recognized that touched them deeply. The Golden Rule reversed is an interesting concept, isn’t it? I’d never heard of it before, either.
Celebrate you and your colorful way of looking at life!
Never Give Up
Joan Y. Edwards