Tag Archives: forgiveness

Health, Spiritual

Do You Need the Forgiveness Tunnel?

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Here’s a video of this Forgiveness Tunnel reflection I did for St. Matthew Catholic Church in 2018. 


When my daughter, Mollie used the expression. “He got on my last nerve,” I laughed and laughed. It’s such a funny expression.
However, if you are angry with someone because they hurt you, it is not a funny situation for you. It can become a funny situation. However, it can also end up festering your heart and soul for years. It’s a choice. Forgiving and letting go of the anger is not always easy. It’s hard to forgive someone when he undoubtedly touched a nerve and ticked you off.

You may have to go through the Forgiveness Tunnel. Not just once, but maybe more than one time. Years after I think I’ve forgiven and forgotten a misgiving, an event or thought may trigger a memory. I find myself angry all over again. So I have to go through what I call the Forgiveness Tunnel again.


If things are mixed up in your mind, pray about it. Ask God to help you let go of the anger and hatred attached to the anger.  Many times fear is sandwiched in with the anger and the hatred. Feelings of confusion, thoughts of getting revenge, and a myriad of unkind actions may permeate your mind.

Sometimes we get angry over things that are what I call the “grandfather effect.” They’ve happened before. This is a repeat offense. In this case you are dealing with layers of hurt…old wounds that are opened up by new pain and suffering. Past visions and videos show on the walls of the tunnel as you go through. You hear the voices all over again. The pain comes back.

Remind yourself of the scripture: Forgive my brother 70 x 7 times: http://www.biblehub.com/matthew/18-22.htm
The Unforgiving Servant

  • Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother who sins against me? Up to seven times?”
  • Jesus answered, “I tell you, not just seven times, but seventy times seven times!

That equals 490 times.

How to go through the Forgiveness Tunnel

1. Pray.
2. Read your favorite scripture.
3, Read a story of forgiveness: A Story of Two Brothers
4. Watch a funny movie or a sad movie. Laughing so hard that you cry, or crying in sympathy with others on the screen may equalize your emotions and allow you to let go easier.
Movies:

5. Write a letter to the person who offended you. Don’t send it. Just write it. Then write a reply from them to you. It’s amazing what you come up with. Tear up both letters into tiny pieces.  Put it in three different trash cans so that it won’t get back together again.

6. Drink a glass or two of water.

7. Dig a hole in the ground and plant a flower in it. You can also get a pot and put dirt in it. Make sure your hands get in and feel the dirt. Plant the seed or a small plant. When it blooms, know that your love and cooperation with nature made it possible.  Playing in the dirt or sand is grounding. So go to the beach if you can and play in the sand. Work in your garden.

8. Remember the times someone forgave you. Remember the love God has for you. Remember those who surround you with their love. Feel yourself being filled with God’s love. 

9. Pray again.

10. If you’re able to talk to the person, tell them you forgive them and that you hold them responsible for their behavior and that God is their judge.

11. Take a walk.

12. I’m sure you’ll think of other ways to help you forgive. It will really end up helping you more than you would ever believe.

13. Why should you forgive? What’s in it for you?  Mayo Clinic Staff gives the following rewards for forgiving your brother: 
https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/forgiveness/art-20047692
“Letting go of grudges and bitterness can make way for improved health and peace of mind. Forgiveness can lead to:

  • Healthier relationships
  • Improved mental health
  • Less anxiety, stress and hostility
  • Lower blood pressure
  • Fewer symptoms of depression
  • A stronger immune system
  • Improved heart health
  • Improved self-esteem

Here’s a video I made for St. Matthew Catholic Church for a Lenten Reflection for March 7, 2019. You can watch it on Facebook:

  1. Facebook https://www.facebook.com/stmatthewcatholic/videos/802409596786248/

Article in which I first wrote about the Forgiveness Tunnel in January, 2016:

Joan Y. Edwards. “Let Anger and Frustration Go:” https://www.joanyedwards.com/let-anger-and-frustration-go/

Other Resources

  1. 6 Bible Verses to Help Forgive Someone Who Hurt You
    http://blog.bible/bible-blog/entry/6-bible-verses-to-help-forgive-someone-who-hurt-you
  2. Mayo Clinic – Forgiveness https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/forgiveness/art-20047692
  3. The Hope Line – How to Forgive https://www.thehopeline.com/how-to-forgive
  4. Psychology Today: How Do You Forgive Even When It Feels Impossible-Part 1
    https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mindful-anger/201409/how-do-you-forgive-even-when-it-feels-impossible-part-1
  5. Psychology Today: How Do You Forgive Even When It Feels Impossible-Part 2
    https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mindful-anger/201605/how-do-you-forgive-even-when-it-feels-impossible-part-2
  6. Tiny Buddha: How to Forgive Someone When It’s Hard- 30 Tips to Let Go of Anger
    https://tinybuddha.com/blog/how-to-forgive-someone-when-its-hard-30-tips-to-let-go-of-anger/
  7. Tiny Buddha: 20 Things to Do When You’re Feeling Angry with Someone
    https://tinybuddha.com/blog/20-things-to-do-when-youre-feeling-angry-with-someone/

Songs to Help You Forgive

I’d love to hear from you. What helps you forgive?

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Never Give Up
Joan Y. Edwards, Author
Copyright © 2018 Joan Y. Edwards
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Spiritual

Forgiveness Is the God in You

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Thank you, Annalise Art from Pixabay.

“Forgiveness Is the God in You” by Joan Y. Edwards

Every year Christians celebrate the anniversary of the birth of Jesus Christ. It’s a time to rejoice. God sent His only Son to earth so that you would have an image of him in your mind. God loves you. He wanted to have an improved relationship with man. He wanted us to be able to get to know him better. He wanted to have a meaningful relationship with us. He wanted to put himself in a form that we could know and understand. That is why He sent Jesus Christ, His only Son to earth to spend time with us. He sent Jesus to clean the slate of our sins for us. Remember that we are forgiven. God forgives you. All you have to do is ask him.

When you are baptized, you clean the slate of wrongs. When you go to confession as a Catholic, you clean the slate of wrongs.  When you forgive others, you clean the slate of wrongs that you hold against someone else.

It’s amazing how healing it is to forgive someone. It takes a burden off your shoulders. Anger and resentment send out negative feelings that turn around like a boomerang and hit you instead.  What goes around, comes around! What you sow, you shall reap!
I believe that many children and adults get mixed up and think that all mistakes are sins. Not all mistakes are sins. Any words, actions, or non-actions that are against the ten commandments would be sins.
Breaking a dish by accident is not a sin. However, if you break a dish on purpose to make someone angry, that would be a sin. It all depends upon your reason for doing it. God is interested in your intention. Why did you do it?

Follow the big commandment, “Love God above all things and love your neighbor as yourself.” If you’re not showing love and respect for God, yourself, or your neighbor, think again before doing it.
If it’s something you wouldn’t want someone to see you doing on television, Facebook, YouTube, or in person, think twice before doing it. Could the police arrest you if you were caught doing this? If God, the Father, Son, or Holy Spirit appeared before you while you were doing this, would you stop? Or would you continue because you knew it was what God wanted you to do in this situation?

It’s a lot easier to forgive someone else when you’ve forgiven yourself for your wrongs.  Guilt freezes you. Forgiveness frees you. Forgive yourself for your weaknesses. What makes you weak in one area, tends to lead you to build strengths in another area.

Any time of year is a good time of year to clean the slate from your past. Let go of all the emotional pulls and ploys. Look for the good in yourself and those that you meet. God is all around you. God is within you. God is behind you. God is in front of you.

When you don’t understand where a person is coming from, pray for them.

When you’re tempted to throw pots and pans at someone, pray for them and yourself and cook them something good to eat instead.

When the news you hear unsettles your peace, pray for a solution to the problem. Don’t focus on whether you are right or wrong. Don’t focus on whether the other person is right or wrong. Focus on figuring out a solution. Ask God for a solution.

Prayers help.

When you tried your best to be on time, but you were late for the umpteenth time, love yourself. Focus and see yourself on time the next time. Pray the Lord’s Prayer. It helps in all situations.

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Never Give Up
Joan Y. Edwards, Author
Copyright © 2011-2019 Joan Y. Edwards
Flip Flap Floodle Will this little duck’s song save him from Mr. Fox?
Joan’s Elder Care Guide A guide to help caregivers and elders find solutions.
80 Gospel-Based Crossword Puzzles for Year B Fun for Children’s Liturgy, Children’s Church, Sunday School, and Home Bible Study