“Duct Tape to the Rescue” by Joan Y. Edwards
During the year before my late husband, Carl Edwards died, he alerted me of a special relationship he had with duct tape.
One day Carl fell in the garage, I heard him call me and went to see what had happened. I helped him up. He had a boo-boo on his arm. When we went to the bathroom to bandage it up, I reached for a bandaid to put on it. He said, “No, don’t put a bandaid on it. Bandaids come off. Use this duct tape on it.”
I looked at him. And I looked at the duct tape. I cringed and said, “But, Carl, won’t it hurt when you pull the duct tape off?” I had visions of the duct tape pulling his skin off with it when he went to remove it.
Carl looked at me and said, “Bandaids come off. Use the duct tape.”
So I used the duct tape. This time and other times. His same reply, “Use the duct tape.”
About a month after Carl died, (May God rest his soul), I went through his personal belongings including his wallets. He had one new wallet and one old wallet. When I opened the new wallet, his drivers license and credit cards and stuff didn’t draw my attention. However, when I opened his old wallet. It had an old driver’s license, a few business cards, positive thinking quotes, and above all else at the back, a tattered compartment with duct tape to hold it together. I smiled. Even in his death, Carl could make me smile. Duct tape to his rescue! For Christmas gifts that year, I gave everyone in the family and our neighbors a roll of silver duct tape in memory of Carl.
Fast forward to a week before the third anniversary of Carl’s passing, August 31, 2023. I went through a few boxes finding things to share with his family and to decide which things to keep for me as a memory of Carl. Inside a box I found an old calculator and a new calculator. And ah, you guessed it. The old calculator was held together with duct tape. Duct tape to the rescue! Again, Carl had made me smile even though he was in heaven. It helped turn a moment of sadness into the joy of remembering how much he chose to make things last. Like love and fun!
I share this story with you in hopes of helping you to know it’s okay to cry when you miss a loved one who has passed away, but more importantly it is life-giving to you to smile when you remember them. Thank God for the time you got to spend with them. Use duct tape to paste the memories that make you smile at the top of your mind today. Let duct tape come to your rescue!
Please share a memory of a deceased loved one that makes you smile.
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Resources
Joan Y. Edwards. “How to Be a Good Listener and Stay Healthy”
Joan Y. Edwards. “The Many Faces of Grief”
Joan Y. Edwards. “Sadness Met Me at the Edge of Life and Death”