In February, my husband Carl’s sister and her husband called us from Nevada. They said that the Walmart aisles were empty of toilet paper and other items. We had some toilet paper, but perhaps this Corona Virus – COVID 19 knew more about it than we did. Maybe everybody was going to have to go more often. No one likes to go without toilet paper.
In the days of using an outhouse, we sometimes used pages of a catalog. or newspaper. A digital catalog page wouldn’t be much help. So I thought , “Next time I go to the store, I’ll get more toilet paper.”
I woke up on grocery shopping day. This inner voice said, “If you want toilet paper, you’d better go to the store NOW.”
When I got to the Harris Teeter grocery store, I went straight to the toilet paper aisle. A lady in front of me gasped. The aisle was completely empty except for one huge package of 16 mega rolls of Charmin. The lady examined the package and left it there on the shelf all by itself. I couldn’t believe it. I walked over and looked at it. The top was open.
I said to myself, “I’m not proud. I’ll buy it with the top wrapper open. There are four rolls inside, each wrapped securely.”
I didn’t see any harm in purchasing this big package. It was all there was. There was no other toilet paper. I didn’t have a choice. I grabbed it and put it in my buggy.
I bought other items and went to the front check out lanes. There were 12 lanes and each one had three people waiting. I saw the self-service registers had a vacancy, so I went there.
I put the groceries on the scanner one-by-one. When I got to the toilet paper, I lifted the package up and away from the buggy.
Alas and Alack. The four packs of toilet paper fell right through. There was not only a hole in the top; there was an even bigger hole in the bottom of the package.
All four rolls of toilet paper bounced around on the floor. I started laughing. I laughed and laughed as I picked up the packs of toilet paper. I thought, “Thank goodness, they were wrapped in fours. What if there had been 16 individual rolls bouncing around on the floor, going this way and that way.
I put the empty plastic packaging on the scanner so the UPC label would let the computer know how much to charge me. I couldn’t stop smiling. Visions of toilet paper rolling all over the store jumped around in my head.
I left the store and couldn’t wait to tell Carl about my toilet paper adventures.
Carl loved it. He called his brother and retold my toilet paper story. (He likes to exaggerate and add to stories to make them more fun to tell.)
Thank you to Pixabay.
In his story, the rolls went here and there and people grabbed my toilet paper as it went down the aisles. In his story, I had to fight people to get it back. Everyone hollered at the same time. All of us were screaming at the same time. Sort of like in the movie, Better Off Dead with John Cusack. The boy on the bike says, “Give me my two dollars.” I’m spouting, “Give me my toilet paper.”
Carl’s brother found an out of the way grocery store that let him have four rolls if he promised not to tell anyone where he got it.
When my friend, Linda Gutheil, told her sister that the store didn’t have any toilet paper, she sent her toilet paper as a gift…24 rolls in one package.
When I was sharing with my daughter, Lorrie, that I couldn’t find a good image of an empty aisle for this blog post, she asked her daughter to take a picture for me while she was in Wal-Mart. Thank you, Lorrie for asking Kylie to take a picture for me. Thank you, Kylie for taking the picture of the empty aisle with no toilet paper for me.
If you have a toilet paper story, please share it in the comments. We need more laughter during this time of the 2020 pandemic.
Never Give Up
Joan Y. Edwards, Author
Copyright © 2020 Joan Y. Edwards
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Great story and will be repeated!
Dear Maureen,
Thank you for writing. I’m glad you enjoyed the story and plan to retell it. It’s fun to retell things that tickle our funny bones, isn’t it?
Stay Safe.
Be Well.
Never Give Up
Joan
Ha! That’s a great story, Joan. What a sight to
Picture! 😂 My story is about food, not toilet paper. My husband is a food hound. He’s tall and thin and can never eat enough. Our friends call him the siphonater. 😁 The first time he went grocery shopping and saw all those empty shelves, he panicked. He started hoarding food, buying all kinds of things we didn’t need. Day after day, he went back to the store to buy more unneeded food. This went on for weeks. Finally, I confronted him, saying, “This is ridiculous! We have plenty of food!” He sheepishly hung his head and said, “Well, I have PTSD from that first time at the store. All those empty shelves haunt me!” 😱 Luckily, the stores are restocked now and my husband is breathing easier and buying only the necessary items. 😅
Dear Shawn,
Thank you for writing. I appreciate you sharing your husband’s food story. I’m glad he’s calm now and isn’t freaking out by the shelves in the stores and is looking at his own shelves at home at being enough for him. So fun! Glad you were able to help him.
Be well.
Stay safe.
Never Give Up
Joan
Same in Houston. My friends have been posting FaceBook photos of empty shelves where the toilet paper ought to be!
Dear Pam,
Thanks for writing. Thanks for explaining that there are empty shelves where toilet paper should be in Houston, Texas, too.
It is probably world-wide. I hope you have plenty of toilet paper for your household.
Be well.
Stay safe.
Never Give Up
Joan
Yes. Funny thing is, this virus does not give you the runs.
There is a branch of mathematics that deals with this kind of behavior. It was devised after the panic money withdrawal from the banks in 1929, the one that started the Great Depression.
If you go through the process, the answer is that even if the panic is silly an irrational, once it starts, the best strategy is to join in.
All the same, I have refused to do so. My wife and I were happy to risk running out of essentials. So what. Humans have lived for perhaps a quarter of a million years without toilet paper, and canned beans, and instant coffee and whatever.
Dear Bob,
Thanks for writing. Thanks for reminding us of the panic money withdrawal from the banks in 1929. I’m proud of you and your wife for being adventuresome and saying, “We’ll be fine without essentials.” That’s a healthy attitude and one that will work with creative minds. Human Beings have survived many things. They can survive this, too.
Be well.
Stay safe.
Never Give Up
Joan
Toilet paper was one of the first things to fly off the shelves here, too. Followed closely by pasta, flour, and canned goods – mostly beans. The latter could explain the toilet paper thing. 🙂
We can order our groceries online and pick them up at the store without having to go inside. We placed our order later the same day my husband ventured to the store early in the morning to take advantage of seniors’ hour. That was two weeks ago. I was working from home that day. The earliest we could pick up our order was Monday, April 20th! Good thing they didn’t pick the order until shortly before our collection time.
Dear Melanie,
Thanks for writing. Thank you for sharing that in Canada, toilet paper was one of the first things to fly off the shelves, too. Wow! You’re right, when you order online, you have to check the delivery date because you might need something else by then. I’ve had good luck ordering groceries from Instacart.com. The delivery fees are only $3.99 in this area of North Carolina. Some days are busier than others. They allow you to choose substitutes for things they might be out of or say you don’t want a substitute. Good luck with your shopping!
Be well.
Stay safe.
Never Give Up
Joan
I bought toilet paper early on…then when I learned we were indeed going up to help our daughter move, I bought a pack for her…12 rolls. She was moving and needed us…Northern Va was out of paper and she was working from home and enduring the stress of move arrangements with no backup until we got there! I forgot the toilet paper! Fortunately we were able to get some for her during senior shopping hours and she got some industrial rolls online which of course were too big for home holders so she put each one of those in drawer next to the toilet. Pull out,unwind, rip off needed amount. We are home now..short on disinfectant sparky, but we have plenty of toilet paper
Dear Joan Leotta,
Thank you for writing. Thank you for sharing your toilet paper story. Oh my goodness! We feel so human when we forget something that we bought especially to help someone! I’m so glad that your daughter found toilet paper in a store and online. I love the creative way she figured out how to use the industrial rolls of toilet paper! Cleverness runs in your family! May you and your family find an abundance of all you need from the stores in person and online.
Be well.
Stay safe.
Never Give Up
Joan
Joan, what a great story told two ways! Lol! Maybe you and Carl could co-author a book.
I couldn’t help but think that in the outhouse days, they at least had newspapers and catalogs. Not too many of those around today. Oh my!
Yes, my sister, did give me the best gift for the COVID-19 days. 24 rolls of toliet paper! A big thank you to my sis!
Dear Linda,
Thank you for writing. I’m glad you enjoyed the story told two ways. You’re right in the outhouse days they had catalogs and newspapers there for the whole family to use.
I am glad that your sister sent you those 24 rolls of toilet paper! So thoughtful in these pandemic times.
May you and your family find everything you need when you go shopping in person or online.
Be well.
Stay safe.
Never Give Up
Joan
Who knew we’d be writing about toilet paper? Last week I found two rolls in the guest bathroom under the sink and I felt like the biggest winner. Score for me!
Dear Pat,
Thank you for writing. You’re right. Who knew in January that we’d be writing and laughing and crying about toilet paper in March and April? Not me, I’d never have guessed it in a million years. You are right. When we find toilet paper, it’s like finding the Golden Easter egg! May you and your family find everything you need when you go shopping in person or online.
Be well.
Stay safe.
Never Give Up
Joan
Hello Joan
I have no story but funny, i didn’t realize how important it is having toilet paper until this COVID 19. In film school my group members first project was based on toilet paper , funny and the directing teacher had a good few words for it. Love ya Joan
Dear Billy,
Thanks for writing.
Proud of you for going to film school. Which film school are you attending? Funny that your group’s first project was based on toilet paper! Glad your teacher had good comments for it! Hurray for groups with a sense of humor. May you and your family always find what you’re shopping for in person or online.
Be well.
Stay safe.
Never Give Up
Joan
I don’t have a TP story–but only you would laugh and laugh at an incident like that. Thanks for sharing!
Dear Carol,
Thank you for writing. I’m glad you have all the toilet paper you need. I hope it made you laugh to think that I would laugh at that situation I was in.
Stay safe.
Be Well.
Enjoy being you.
Never Give Up
Joan
Thanks for the morning laugh 😂! That is a funny story.
Dear Sandra,
Thank you for writing. It is so good to hear from you. You’re welcome. I’m happy it made you laugh! Laughter is food for the soul, right? I hope you can get whatever you need in all this pandemic.
Stay well and safe.
Never Give Up
Joan
Joan,this post made me chuckle! I’m picturing you in the aisle calling after your TP (btw Better off Dead was the very first movie Matt and I saw together 😊 so I can picture that scene). Definitely need more laughter,so thank you! Sending a hug and love ❤
Dear Kathleen,
Thank you for writing. I’m glad this post made you chuckle. I’m doubly excited that Better Off Dead was the first film you and Matt saw together! It has many funny moments, especially, “Give me my two dollars.” I’m glad we both had a chance to see this movie! Enjoy your day!
Be safe and well.
Never Give Up
Joan