“Uh Oh! Possible Problems and Scams with Online Dating” by Joan Y. Edwards

Uh Oh. Silly me. I thought a few months ago, I enjoyed being married. I’d like to get married again. I thought I’d try online dating. I knew several people who’d met online and their relationship worked out. Many friends of friends have used online dating and it has worked out. It may work for many people for varying reasons. It did not work for me in this instance.  I kept trying to pinpoint believing and not believing the person who contacted me through a dating site. Part of me didn’t believe and I was trying to find the facts to say for sure.

I knew I was not going to send money but I was never asked for money.  He couldn’t build that trust with me. After I texted him I had told my daughters about him meeting me in two weeks and I confronted him about inconsistencies, he said we were not compatible. Then I said if we are not compatible, goodbye.

I talked on the phone to this man 3 times.  Each time we got into a discussion of compatibility and trust.

Once they believe they have your trust and you believe you are compatible, then they delve on the love. They refuse to meet in person or on video chat.

I prayed daily while during this encounter. I asked others to pray for me.  When I shared with my daughters and their families about this man, they discovered some of the same things that made me doubt,  When I was again able to get him on the phone, I knew for sure the  places where he wasn’t who he said he was.

In wondering why I went through this and couldn’t see or recognize the  parts that were fake first off, the answer is:  I am human. Then I thought perhaps it was to educate someone who reads my blog or is my friend on Facebook. Perhaps that’s why God let me experience this.

These scammers are professionals at psychology and they know how to get you emotionally connected and take advantage of your human frailties..

So to help you and those you love, let your children know when you are going to go on a dating site.  Let them know who you are chatting with.  Please let me know if this article helps you..

Here’s what i discovered, it may be fake or a scam artist at work:

1. If when you talk with them, they are hard to understand because of an accent.
2. If the voice doesn’t seem to match the profile picture. If it’s a Caucasian or Hispanic picture but sounds like someone from Africa or India.
3. If they get upset if you don’t trust them.
4. If you check on the names of their deceased spouse you are unable to find it or if you find it you can’t find any connection to the person you are communicating with.
5. If they say before they meet in person they have to find out if you are compatible. If you ask them what that means they say you’re a match. Ask them what that means, they can’t tell you.
6. If they say you have to answer a series of questions to find out if you are compatible before you meet…..the last question will be about finances…telling about his or her finances. If they get the feeling that you have money, then they profess their giving caution to the wind and they’ve fallen in love with you throwing their fears away.
7. If you can’t find any information on them online through background checks, it might be a fake name.
8. If they post only one picture.
9. If they profess their love for you.
10. If they ask you to answer certain questions to find out if you are compatible.
11. If their language on  messages seems like it’s from a romance novel.
12. If they don’t have a middle name.
13. If they won’t meet you in person or on video chat within the first week.
14. If they give you their company website, check the pictures on it with Google image search It will tell if it’s a stock photo or if they are using someone else’s picture, it will show up there.
15.  Check the website on a computer that warns you of websites to look out for. 3 days in a row or once a week. See if it changes information often.
16. Call the number on the website for the business. If they don’t answer with the name of the company like most companies, it is a fake.
17. If you ask them about their work and they are vague about it and cannot explain it.
18. If you ask them where they live, they may mention one place in their profile and tell you they live in the city where you are.
19. If they ignore your questions, but keep asking their own.
20. If they send you a link to  a website or article to read. It might be rigged to get your personal information.
21. If they don’t want you to tell your family or friends about them, or they indicate they’ve told their friends about you and their friends are saying they should look out, that you might be wanting to get something from them.

When I did talk to the person on the phone, I asked him questions. And of course he said we were not compatible

Ultimately the scammers or fake people will ask you for money. The one who contacted me couldn’t get me to trust him.

Contact the dating site customer service and explain how you believe this person was fake.

If you suspect an online relationship is a scam, stop all contact immediately.

Contact the dating service or site and explain which name profile and the problems you had.

If you are the victim of a romance scam and have given them money or stocks, file a complaint with the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3).

Resources

1. AARP. “Romance Scams:” https://www.aarp.org/money/scams-fraud/info-2019/romance.html

2. Romance Scams.org. “How to Spot Online Dating Scams:” https://www.romancescams.org/how-to-spot-online-dating-scams/