Tag Archives: fears

Focus on the Present

3 clocks at 5 minutes til noon
Thank you for letting me use this image, Alexa from Pixabay.
“Focus on the Present” by Joan Y. Edwards
Perhaps you are like me. You may have many experiences that overwhelm you and put you in the worry mode. Troubled and puzzled about how to handle problems with family members or friends, problems with your dwelling, your health, your finances, your car, your job, etc.). You may not be able to put your thoughts and emotions at peace within your body, mind, and spirit. You may become very anxious, full of fear and not feeling comfortable at all because you aren’t able to figure them out. Your mind moves from the present to the past or the future. You can’t seem to just focus on the present time.
Perhaps it is like you are at the Supermarket and all of these troubling experiences are in the check out line waiting to be charged and put into an appropriate sized bag in your cart (your body, mind, and spirit). However, your old ways of handling things no longer work.  Old Used-ta is no longer in service. The Goldilocks time. when everything went “just right” has disappeared.
It is like watching a movie of your life.  You keep on rewinding it to different past hurtful events in your life that were similar to the ones you are having at the present time. However, your old ways  of handling these emotional things don’t work any more. They don’t put you at peace. You need new ways. New awareness. New points of view.
At times like this, perhaps your inner critic enters the scene and tells you that you are not doing it right. The way to tame your inner critic is to prove him wrong by bolstering your self-confidence and building stronger coping techniques that put your mind, body, and spirit at peace. Your inner critic wants to protect you. God will help you tame your inner critic. I believe that if you are constantly hearing negative voices inside your head that the devil may be tempting you. He wants you to believe all the bad stuff about yourself. He wants you to doubt yourself. Doubt your goodness and mercy. God will help you tame him and shut him up. I asked God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit to live within me and help me.
God helped me do a retreat at home. I prayed, searched for sources online, and talked with family and friends. Doing your own personal retreat may help you gain your self-confidence back, give you awareness, wisdom, and understanding. God will help you put a stop to the painful memories and worries about the future outcome of your choices and experiences.
Sometimes you and I hand things to God and then worry about them anyway. We give it to God with our right hands, and take it back with our left.  Being human is tricky at times. Inner peace is God within us. Ask him to build more of it in you.
After I did this self-retreat and began focusing on the present rather than the past or on the future. Things were better inside me. I went on an adventure. I went to Georgia for a baby shower. A wonderful occasion. Thank you, God for blessing us with new life. We went for a boat ride on Blue Ridge Lake: my two daughters, my youngest granddaughter, my niece and her friend who was the captain of the motor boat.
At one point everyone except me decided to swim in the lake. They all had on their swimming suits and life vests. I walked to the back of the boat to take pictures of them.
All of a sudden, my older daughter says, “Momma, you’re going farther away.” I looked around and noticed that was true. I was definitely going away from them. So I said as I waved, “Bon Voyage! Bon Voyage!”
I said, “I’ll call 911.”
My older daughter said, “Momma, there’s no cell service here on the lake.”
I said, “I’ll call any way.”
They were all laughing so much that if they didn’t have on their life vests, they might have drowned from laughing so hard.
The man who was captain of the boat swam to the boat and threw out a different anchor. He said the one he had used before was too short and didn’t take hold in the bottom of the lake. Hence, my “Bon Voyage.”
I hope this story makes you laugh. It had a happy ending. All of us safe on shore later.
I put links to the most helpful YouTube videos that God led me to and that helped me during my self-retreat.  I hope if you watch any of them that they help you build inner confidence and faith that you and God have got this. That God is not going to desert you or abandon your cry for help.
Philippians 4:7 “And the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ, Jesus.”
Please leave me a comment. If you have  scriptures or other resources that have helped you when you feel anxious, worried about the past. present, or the future, I would really like to hear from you in the comment area.
Never Give  Up
Joan Y.  Edwards
Copyright 2025
Resources
1. 4 Powerful Things To Tell Yourself Every Morning | Shi Heng Yi Best Speech
https://youtu.be/et4JI6fA0Hs?si=vY7ysCFZuDbiEhst
2. Radical Acceptance  Radical acceptance is acknowledging a situation, emotion, or circumstance without judgment or resistance, even if it’s painful or unwanted.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrjo2bFOQyk
3. Listen to one night and don’t panic affirmations.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKu3jzt25aQ
4. LET THEM  The ONE Trick You Need to Master to Live a Peaceful and Fulfilled Life |…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4z5C8G32AY
5. Positive Affirmations for Peace and Calm | Reduce Stress & Anxiety by Lavendaire
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oS6KlpzDNS0
6. Self affirmation By Lavendaire You are enough my favorite saying
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oS6KlpzDNS0
7. 33 Positive Affirmations to Change Your Life by Lavendaire
htps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=efZFARmGyMs
8.Positive Affirmations to Manifest Your Dream Life By Lavendaire
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CtiouwHOxw
9. Gratitude Affirmations ✨ Daily Affirmations to Attract Positivity & Abun…By Lavendaire
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RhuhLc69hF0
10. Radical Acceptance of things out of your control by K. Wackett
https://youtu.be/XdslLgx1Qn4?si=bhXBc4VQsLmWYIcZ

What Zaps Your Energy? Reclaim Your Power!

Breathe. It leads to peace. Man's picture by Arun Sharma & Unsplash
Thank you, Arun Sharma and Unsplash for allowing me to use this man’s image in my poster.

“What Zaps Your Energy? Reclaim Your Power” by Joan Y. Edwards

Stress zaps your energy. Stress can come from people, situations, thoughts, and fears.  These things can put too many stressors on your body, mind, and spirit.  They create unhealthy thoughts and feelings in you. Some of them seem uncontrollable…like your mind has gone zonkers in overdrive…so many feelings from sources known and also from sources unknown.

In these stress-filled times, you have to TAKE FIVE MINUTES…in a quiet place…take a walk in a quiet place…listen to calming music. Get a soft pillow or soft stuffed animal and put it in your lap (I have a Squishmallow butterfly Nixie, gift from my older daughter and her family…so very soft and cuddly. Squish the pillows in a store. Choose the one you love to hug. Imagine that pillow as a place where you can give your cares to God. By placing your hands on the pillow, you are dropping your unwanted stress into the pillow and giving it to God.

When I’m stressed, I love to get a hug from someone. Actually giving someone a hug, helps too. I think the comfort of a hug is powerful for both people in the hug.  If I am very angry, I want to be an island by myself for awhile…until I cool down.

Stressful thoughts and Actions

Worrying about things you cannot change
Being afraid that certain things might happen
Fearful that things you want to happen won’t happen.
Trying to force something to happen.
Holding onto past hurts from people who are no longer in your life

Are you like me and give it to God with your right hand, and take it back to worry about with your left? Here is one of my favorite scriptures about peace:

Philippians 4:6-7: Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Jesus told his disciples he was going to be gone, but he was leaving the Holy Spirit with them…with us. (Galatians 5:22). The peace of the Holy Spirit brings well-being, contentment, and wholeness, whatever the circumstances which is peace.

Ways to get more energy:

Spend time with your power source: Pray. Ask God for help. Read Bible Scriptures about being at peace.
Forgive yourself and others for unhealthy expectations and beliefs.
Realize that people cannot give you what they do not have. That was eye-opening for me when I realized I was expecting things from people I loved that they couldn’t give me even though they may have wanted to. Let me explain. If you go to a grocery store and they don’t have a new Toyota to sell you, it seems silly to be upset with them. There’s another phrase that explains…you can’t get blood from a turnip. We try that at times. Very stressful and unrewarding.

Set boundaries (Use that timer.) (Distance yourself from troublesome people or things for awhile.)

If someone is draining your energy, try to limit your time around them. That can be tricky if you are living in the same house. If that’s the case, you need to figure out why and how your energy is zapped. You have to own it. You can’t blame it on someone else.

For a long time, my husband Carl would come home from work. He would be so very angry. I tried to figure out why I got angry because he got angry. After much soul-searching, I remembered what my Mother said to me seemingly a million times, “When your father comes home, don’t make him angry.” Ah! All of a sudden I figured it out. I thought I was making Carl angry. He came home and dumped his anger on me and then he didn’t have to handle it. So that evening when Carl came home. He started ranting and raving about all the bad things that happened that day. I stood there in front of him and said, “Go ahead. Get angry. Stomp your feet. Scream and holler. Throw something.”

Carl looked at me and said, “I don’t want to do any of those things.”

I said, “It’s your anger. You have to decide what to do with it.”

I explained what I had figured out about what my Mother had told me as a child. Carl admitted that he was in fact dumping the anger on me. We talked about that moment when things were different. He knew he could tell me about his anger but he couldn’t expect me to figure it out for him and hold it for him. Carl always told me I could share any learning experiences we had because he thought perhaps it might help someone else.

NHS:UK says that whatever relaxes you will improve your energy.

Take a piece of paper and write down all the things you are worrying about.

Take a piece of paper and write down all the things you are thankful for.

Go to bed at a regular time every night. Get up at a regular time. Like when you first awaken after daylight in the morning. Have plans for fun things to do first thing in the morning and before you go to bed at night to keep you looking forward to the day. Remember “This is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad it is.”

Watch a positive thinking video. Here are two I found very helpful.

Positive Revolution. “Lessons in Positive Thinking:” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMre9L3K780

Drink more water.
Eat more protein; fewer high carbs. High carbs may drop your energy levels quickly.  Proteins give you energy that lasts longer. (Snack on nuts, cheese, high protein drinks, less caffeine)
Take a walk around your house and through your neighborhood.
Get in the car and go to a park to find 3 things that make you smile.
Listen to music.
Read a good book.
Spend time with friends.
Eat breakfast, lunch, or supper with a friend.
Make a zoom or Facetime call to a friend. Seeing their face will make you smile.
Take a nap. Before taking it, make plans for what you will do for fun when you get up.
Make a list of 10 or more things that are fun for you.
Now do one of those 10 things.
If something stressed you out, ask God to enlighten you as to why it was stressful. Did you expect more of yourself than humanly possible?

Sometimes getting a small chore done that you’ve been putting off will fill you with unexpected joy.

Resources

Arise Counseling and Coaching. “10 Ways to Reclaim Your Energy and Your Life:” https://arisecounselingandcoaching.com/blog/10-ways-to-reclaim-your-energy-and-your-life/

Joan Y. Edwards. “Accountability Corner”
https://joanyedwards.com/accountability-corner/
Joan Y. Edwards. “Accountability Corner – Step 2 – Project Ideas:” https://joanyedwards.com/accountability-corner-step-2-project-ideas/

Joan Y. Edwards. “Accountability Corner – Step 3 – Your Weekly Project Plan:” https://joanyedwards.com/accountability-corner-step-3-your-weekly-project-plan/

Joan Y. Edwards. “Celebrate You:” https://joanyedwards.com/celebrate-you/

Joan Y. Edwards. “Don’t Tell God How Big Your Problem Is; Tell Your Problem How Big Your God Is (Author Unknown):” https://joanyedwards.com/dont-tell-god-how-big-your-problem-is-tell-your-problem-how-big-your-god-is-author-unknown/

Joan Y. Edwards. “Here Is a New Remote Control to Set Your Mood: https://www.joanyedwards.com/here-is-a-new-remote-control-to-set-your-mood/

Shaun Blakeney, Wallace Henley. “Energy Zappers: Dealing with People Who Drain Your Energy: https://www.amazon.com/Energy-Zappers-Dealing-People-Drain/dp/0801068010

Today Devotional. “The Holy Spirit and Peace:” https://todaydevotional.com/devotions/the-holy-spirit-and-peace

Valeo Training. “10 Energy-Zappers to Eliminate:” https://valeotraining.com/10-energy-zappers/

Thank you for visiting my website and reading this post. I hope you’ll leave a comment. Knowing you and others read my blog, makes me smile and encourages me to write more posts to share with you. If there’s a topic you’d like for me to study and write about, let me know. If you find my posts helpful, please share with your friends and family any you believe would be helpful to them. I appreciate all the people who have subscribe to my blog. Please subscribe to receive articles of inspiration, encouragement, and humor,

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 Never Give Up
Joan Y. Edwards, Author
Copyright © 2009-2023 Joan Y. Edwards

 

Flip Flap Floodle Firebird Book Award Winner Will this little duck’s song save him from Mr. Fox? Available as Ebook and Paperback: Amazon. Barnes and Noble.

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Know Your Main Character

“Know Your Main Character” by Joan Y. Edwards

I believe it’s a good idea to know your main character well.

1. Perhaps you’d know the answer to these questions about your main character:

What kind of schedule does your main character follow?
What are his favorite foods?
What foods does he detest?
Does he eat healthy?
Does he drink alcoholic beverages?
Where did he go to high school?
Did he graduate from college?
What is the relationship with his parents? grandparents?
What is he deathly afraid of?
What is he proud of?
What kind of clothing does he wear to work? for fun? to bed?
What would your parents think of this character?
What does he do really well?
What skill is his very worst?
What are his three worst habits?

Here are three websites with other good interview questions and ideas.

2. Cut out magazine pictures that you believe might look like them.

3. Write out a weekly journal pretending you are the character.

4. Ask the character questions in a letter. Have the character answer the questions in a letter. You can email them to yourself.

5. Give the character 3 props from his past. Ask him to tell you the story behind why they are significant to him.

6. If you see an actor that would fit the description of your character, rent a movie he acts in and pick up a quirky habit or two, or describe how they walk.

It’s fun to create a new character. These are only a few ideas to get you started or to add dimension to a character whose story you’ve already written.  Good luck in your ventures to add life and reality to your characters.

Enjoy yourself. Life is a precious gift.

Thanks for reading my blog. Please comment telling me what you believe writers should know about their main character.

Put a Positive Spin on Your Writing Life
Never Give Up
Joan Y. Edwards

Copyright 2012 © Joan Y. Edwards