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Health

Bob Rich, Author of “The Hole in Your Life-Grief and Bereavement”

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Bob Rich, author in Australia
Bob Rich, Author

Bob Rich, Author of “The Hole in Your Life-Grief and Bereavement” by Joan Y. Edwards

Today I am honored to interview Bob Rich,  PhD. He is the author of “The Hole in Your Life” as well as many other intriguing books. Thanks for being with us, Bob.

You are welcome. It’s great to visit you in the USA from Australia.

Let’s get started.

1. How many books have you written?
Thirty-four plus one-half plus one-thirteenth. You never get a straight answer from this silly fellow, do you? But it’s true. The one-thirteenth is because perhaps the best short story I’ve ever written, Artist’s Revenge, is one of thirteen stories in the anthology, “Pivot,” and I’ve been notified that it has won an award. You’ll see the medal on the book page: https://bobrich18.wordpress.com/bobs-booklist/#pivot
The one-half is because I am currently pestering agents and publishers with a science-fiction series, “The Doom Healer,” and four of the five planned volumes are completed. Then there are twenty published books listed at https://bobrich18.wordpress.com/bobs-booklist and ten others that are complete, but I have withdrawn them or they have never seen daylight.

2. What caused you to be interested in being a counselor?
Have you read my fictionalized autobiography, Ascending Spiral?
https://bobrich18.wordpress.com/bobs-booklist#ascending
In 2007, I recovered bits of five of my past lives, and their reconstruction is much of that book. The last time I died and planned my current life, I asked for the gift of the healer.
In high school, I was a lame duck collector: all the distressed kids came to me. Trouble was, then I worried more about their problems than they did themselves, so after graduating I
went in for research rather than therapy. All the same, when a friend’s wife died, it was me he sought out.
After a couple of years of unemployment, I trained as a nurse, which toughened me up. As a nursing student, you are taught, “It’s not your pain. You’re not there to share it but to
relieve it.”
In therapy they just need to realize they can do things differently.

3. Please tell us about your daughter, Natalie, who died recently.

Natalie helping at birthday party being a good Auntie.
Natalie helping at birthday party being a good Auntie.


          When Natalie was two, she toddled up to a pregnant woman, looked way up into her eyes and said, “Did you know, babies come from a woman’s tummy?”
At three, she caught the flu. While picking up medicines for her, I found some blocks with the alphabet on them. By the end of the day, she knew all the letters, and thereafter read street names, shop signs and everything else with writing on it. As I say in the first chapter of my book dedicated to her, which  you’ll find at http://grief.lhpress.com she badgered us to send her to school at four.
We lived a near self-sufficient life by 1981. Her mother was preparing a chicken for dinner and requested that Natalie pluck it. She refused and was a vegetarian ever since.
As a teenager, Natalie decided she wouldn’t have children and became the perfect auntie all kids loved. And poor thing, she had the same sense of humor that tortures me.

4. You wrote “A Hole in Your Life” as a way to handle your grief when your daughter, Natalie, died. That was a very loving thing to do.  How did writing the book help you?
Two ways, both of which are research-validated.
In the book (pages 28-29) I have “William Funchess suffered terribly as a prisoner of war in Korea. Years later, he wrote a highly successful book, published in 1999. ‘I got yellow pads and ball point pens and spiral notebooks and just started writing. The minute I finished writing, the nightmares stopped.’”
Second, when you have progressed through grief enough, you  want something positive to come out of your loss. Again, I describe a man whose previously violent father wasreleased from jail. My client forgave him and they became friends. Then father died. Six months later, he (my client, not his dead father) rescued a teenager from a violent home situation. In a similar way, this book is my tool for reducing the suffering of others.

5. What are three things you hope people will gain when they read “A Hole in Your Life?”
OK. Several of my beta readers are psychologists. Three of them have said that reading my book was like professional development in grief therapy.
Second, most people have suffered serious losses: the death of a loved person, a physical injury, failing at an exam and so missing out on a profession, divorce, you name it. It can be your guide in how to handle such misfortune.
Third, many of us find ourselves supporting someone who has fallen into such a hole. My book is the rope.

6. Please share three experiences that influenced you to fight to care for our planet.
What a wonderful question!
Again, I need to return to my past-life recalls. I have reported in Ascending Spiral that I’ve been told: this is the life when I have to witness the end of humanity or be part of the movement that saves us. Well, I’d rather have the second! Being a father, then a grandfather and now a great-grandfather is also motivating. And all sentient beings in the universe are my family, and I do my best to work for a good life for as many of them as I can.
Finally, we are so lucky to live on such a beautiful planet! My favorite people include birds, whales, butterflies, trees covered in blossoms (and even when they are not). Bob Brown, who started up the Greens movement globally, has said that there is no need for justification in human terms for protecting nature. It has value in its own right. Isaac Asimov’s Earth was completely covered in a mechanical coating. That’s a nightmare.

7. How did you find the publisher for your books?
I started writing for a marvelous self-sufficiency magazine, Earth Garden, in 1980. Sadly, the magazine died of old age a few years ago, but until then I had a byline column as their owner-building expert. In 1984, the magazine’s publisher and I combined to write what ended up  as The Earth Garden Building Book: Design and Build Your Own House. He already had 8 published books, so he had no trouble getting us going with Nelson Australia, which then
got gobbled up by Penguin, although there was nothing fishy about it. (Get it?)
My second book was Woodworking for Idiots Like Me. It is a series of short stories, each with a woodcraft lesson. Penguin couldn’t put it neatly in a box, so passed on it, but a small publisher, Aird books, asked Earth Garden magazine for a lead to a good woodworking book, and it was a match made in heaven, which lit up about 60,000 purchasers.
As the internet took off, and I took off writing fiction, I went with a series of brand new electronic publishers. They were ahead of their time and went broke, one by one. Then new technology came around, and e-books could be read on special readers, and you know where that led us
I self-published a few when that was still seen as shameful, so did so through my own publishing company.
When I wrote Sleeper, Awake, I was part of a Yahoo group with a bunch of other Australian authors, one of whom let us know that she was in an author cooperative. The idea was to do all work themselves. She was the acquisitions editor, so I queried her. She loved it, and I was in.
Part of the shared work was reviewing each other’s books. I provided a public review for one, and sent a private message to the author with a long list of edits and suggestions for improvement. This man was the acquisition editor’s husband, and so she invited me to join the editing team. Soon, I was editing for quite a large number of small independent publishers, and I could choose between them when I wanted to publish a new book. My main publisher is the aptly named Loving Healing Press.

8.  What is the source of your inner spirit?
Chocolate?
When I was a student, a group of us had regular discussions. The others were one each of Catholic, evangelical Protestant, Salvation Army, and evangelical atheist. Me? I argued with all of them. My final conclusion was, if there is a God, my job is to be the best human I can be. If there isn’t a God, the only way to make sense of existence is to be the best human I can be. Given my scientific training, since those ancient days I have built up a working hypothesis of what the Universe is like, what it is for, what our little humans’ role in it is. This is a best guess on the basis of the evidence life has rubbed my nose in. If new evidence comes along, I  modify the model.
OK, here is what I’ve arrived at: The Universe is alive, and conscious. Quantum physics demonstrates that consciousness is fundamental. Observing creates reality. The universe of matter and energy we perceive is there because the Universe observes it.
My guess is that our particular Universe is a young one of Its kind and needs to develop lots of the equivalent of brain cells. These are  beings with the potential for morality, like octopuses, all mammals including whales and humans, possibly trees and queen bees and things.
The role of the material universe is to provide a school for souls, until they graduate as enlightened spirits. So, we are all apprentice Buddhas, apprentice Jesuses, although, heaven knows, some have an AWFUL long way to go. So, every action is a potential tool for moving toward the purpose of life, which is
enlightenment.

9. Tell us about the part of Australia where you live.

Dawn at riddell
Dawn at Riddell
Koala Bear
Koala Bear in Australia

I live in Healesville, a little country town with an outlying western suburb called Melbourne. Thanks to the air pollution there, we have beautiful sunsets. Humans are working hard at causing the extinction of anything that moves and anything that’s green, but my area still has some lovely nature.

Bob’s Bio
Bob Rich, PhD, is a visitor from a faraway galaxy, where he is an historian of horror. So, Earth is his favorite place in the universe. Nowhere else do sentient beings engage in a game of killing non-combatants (war). Nowhere else are child raising practices designed to harm children. And delicious for an historian of horror: nowhere else is the entire global economy designed to destroy its life support system. Here on Earth, he is disguised as an Australian storyteller, with 20 published books, six of which, and over 40 short stories, have won awards. He has retired five times so far. He still works as an editor for several small publishers. Above all, he is a Professional Grandfather. Anyone born since 1993 is his grandchild.
Everything he does strives for a survivable future for them, and one worth surviving in. This means environmental and humanitarian activism: an attempt to change a worldwide culture of greed and aggression into one of compassion and cooperation. He has been writing since 1980, with a byline column in “Earth Garden” magazine and other periodicals.
When he was 23, a minister of religion told him he was a Buddhist. Since his timemachine was in for service, he couldn’t check on the internet, but a day in the University library validated this claim. He decided not to sue the Buddha for plagiarism, as an act of metta (loving kindness).

Three of Bob Rich’s Many Books

The Hole in Your Life by Bob Rich, PhD

1. The Hole in Your Life: Grief and Bereavement with Titan Literary Award Seal https://bobrich18.wordpress.com/bobs-booklist/#grief

 

2. Ascending Spiral https://bobrich18.wordpress.com/bobs-booklist/#ascending

Anika, the Stranger Who Loved Me by Bob Rich book cover

3. Anikó: The Stranger Who Loved Me
https://bobrich18.wordpress.com/bobs-booklist/#aniko

Thank you for being with us today, Bob. I know those who read it  will enjoy learning about you and hopefully will read one of your books to encourage them.
Please leave questions for Bob in the comments area. 

Never Give Up
Joan Y. Edwards, Author
Copyright © 2009-2025 Joan Y. Edwards

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Writing

Add Life to Your Dialogue

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“Add Life to Your Dialogue” by Joan Y. Edwards

Dialogue is a great way for fiction writers to engage readers. You are a fiction writer. Great! Do you want to add life to your dialogue?  Of course, you do.

Take a look at the dialogue in a favorite part of your latest manuscript.  If your dialogue follows the six ideas below, it will keep your readers glued to the pages of your book from beginning to end. You will have the reader hooked. Your dialogue will exhibit great life.

Choose words to invigorate your dialogue.

  1. Simple dialog tags that ensure readers know who is talking. The simple tags keep the readers dwelling on the story.  That’s where you want them.

John said, “Don’t be kidding me!”
“I kid you not. The man held me at gun point!” said Jane.

Avoid complicated dialog tags. Complicated dialog tags take the reader out of the story. This may keep them out so long that they never finish reading your book.

John articulated, “Don’t be kidding me!”
“I kid you not. The man held me at gun point!” spoke up Jane.

2. If there are only two people talking, weave the information about who is talking into the paragraph before the dialogue begins so that you don’t need any dialogue tags.  Mark Twain often does this in  the  Adventures of Tom Sawyer. Let the readers know who is talking in the introductory paragraph or in the response and go back and forth with the conversation:

Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain About midnight Tom arrived with a boiled ham and a few trifles, and stopped in a dense undergrowth on a small bluff overlooking the meeting-place. It was starlight, and very still. The mighty river lay like an ocean at rest. Tom listened a moment, but no sound disturbed the quiet. Then he gave a low, distinct whistle. It was answered from under the bluff. Tom whistled twice more; these signals were answered in the same way. Then a guarded voice said: “Who goes there?” “Tom Sawyer, the Black Avenger of the Spanish Main. Name your names.” “Huck Finn the Red-Handed, and Joe Harper the Terror of the Seas.” Tom had furnished these titles, from his favorite literature. “’Tis well. Give the countersign.” Two hoarse whispers delivered the same awful word simultaneously to the brooding night: “Blood!” Then Tom tumbled his ham over the bluff and let himself down after it, tearing both skin and clothes to some extent in the effort. There was an easy, comfortable path along the shore under the bluff, but it lacked the advantages of difficulty and danger so valued by a pirate.

2. Instead of using the dialog tags (he said, she said) after the first two lines of dialogue, be creative. Between pieces of dialogue, add plot action, events, decisions, or discoveries that influence how your protagonist pursues his goal. Add actions and reactions that express each character’s emotions. According to Wikipedia, Emotion is often intertwined with mood, temperament, personality, disposition, and motivation.

John said, “Don’t be kidding me!” “I kid you not.” Jane took off her eyeglasses and stared him nose to nose. “The man held me at gun point!” …Joan Y. Edwards

Here’s an excerpt from Best Seller Beneath the Scarlet Sky by Mark Sullivan with added information about each character.

Beneath the Scarlet Sky by Mark Sullivan Pino watched him but heard the older woman say, “Which one, Albert? “Go with your heart,” said the man waiting on her behind he counter. Big, barrel-chested, and mustached, he wore a beautiful mouse-gray suit, starched white shirt, and a jaunty polka-dot bow tie. “But, I love them both,” his customer complained. Stroking his mustache and chuckling, he said, “Then, buy them both!” She hesitated, giggled. “Maybe I will, then!”

3. Show tension and disagreement – conflict –  between the characters who are talking. Show characters with different goals.
In real life, not all conversations show conflict. In a novel, every conversation has to make a difference and carry part of the plot with it. I wrote the following passage to help show tension and disagreement.

Ted looked out the window. The impending blizzard set his mind in a mode of fear. Would he be able to get Bella to the hospital if the baby came now?

Ted said, “Bella, are you feeling okay? Any contractions?”

Rubbing her belly, Bella said, “I’m fine. No contractions.”

Ted ran his fingers through his hair. “What if the blizzard traps us?”

“We’ll do fine. We’ve watched a million babies born in Westerns. How hard can it be?”

“Hard. I flunked birthing 101.”

“You flunked because you passed out. When it’s your own baby, you won’t pass out. Trust me. I know you, Ted. You won’t let me down.”

Ted fell to the floor. Bella shook his head from side to side.

“Ted, Ted. Speak to me, Ted.” Ted opened his eyes. “I love you, Bella. I can’t do this.”

Bella bent over. Her face etched in pain. “You’ll have to. The baby’s coming now.” … Joan Y. Edwards

4. If the dialogue is not essential, delete it. All dialogue should do one of these three things: move the story forward, provide essential information to understand the story, or to explain character motivation through actions, thoughts, and emotions. I wrote the following passage. See if you can find the words or sentences that would make the dialogue better if you eliminated it.

Oscar’s father, Fred, took one look at the bashed in fenders and doors on the left side of his 2018 blazing red Ferrari. He stomped his feet and threw the 30 gallon trash can against the garage wall.

Oscar was totally sure that his father was really angry with him.

Fred came behind the car. “Son, I told you to be careful.”

“I was. The driver of the other car ran the red light.”

“What color was the other car? How old was the driver? Did the police give him a ticket?”

Oscar put the knife back in his pocket. He was just making sure he had it. “Oh my goodness! You’re bleeding.” “The paramedic bandaged it. I must have bumped it again. “Let’s get a new bandage on that arm. Later on, the insurance agent is coming over.

Passage after deleting unnecessary sentences and words.

Fred, Oscar’s father, took one look at the bashed in fenders and doors on the left side of his 2018 blazing red Ferrari. He stomped his feet and threw the 30 gallon trash can against the garage wall. He came behind the car.

“Son, I told you to be careful.”

“I was. The driver of the other car ran the red light.”

“Oh my goodness! You’re bleeding.”

“The paramedic bandaged it. I must have bumped it again.”

“Let’s get a new bandage on that arm. Later on, the insurance agent is coming over. byJoan Y. Edwards

5. Vary the length of the lines of dialogue.

The following dialogue is from Moby Dick.  To study other great public domain books free, go to Gutenberg Project at
http://www. Gutenberg.org.

Moby Dick by Herman Melville “My boy,” said the landlord, “you’ll have the nightmare to a dead sartainty.”

“Landlord,” I whispered, “that aint the harpooneer is it?”

“Oh, no,” said he, looking a sort of diabolically funny, “the harpooneer is a dark complexioned chap. He never eats dumplings, he don’t—he eats nothing but steaks, and he likes ’em rare.”

“The devil he does,” says I.

“Where is that harpooneer? Is he here?”

“He’ll be here afore long,” was the answer. I could not help it, but I began to feel suspicious of this “dark complexioned” harpooneer. At any rate, I made up my mind that if it so turned out that we should sleep together, he must undress and get into bed before I did.

6. Use dialogue that flows easily. Read your dialogue aloud. If it sounds stuffy, it’s stuffy. I like the dialogue here. It’s humorous and states usefulness of a Time Machine.

The Time Machine: An Invention by H. G. Wells       

“But I have experimental verification,” said the Time Traveller.

“It would be remarkably convenient for the historian,” the Psychologist suggested.  

“One might travel back and verify the accepted account of the Battle of Hastings, for instance!”

“Don’t you think you would attract attention?” said the Medical Man.

“Our ancestors had no great tolerance for anachronisms.”

“One might get one’s Greek from the very lips of Homer and Plato,” the Very Young Man thought.

“In which case they would certainly plough you for the Little-go. The German scholars have improved Greek so much.”                        

  “Then there is the future,” said the Very Young Man. “Just think! One might invest all one’s money, leave it to accumulate at interest, and hurry on ahead!”

I hope these ideas help you add life to your dialogue. I listed 25 resources below my signature to give you additional ways to invigorate your dialogue.

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The World Needs to Read What You Write
Never Give Up
Joan Y. Edwards
Copyright © 2018-2022 Joan Y. Edwards

Resources

1. A.J. Humpage. “Sentences and Dialogue:” http://allwritefictionadvice.blogspot.com/2011/04/part-3-sentences-and-dialogue.html

2. Beth Hill. “Bad Dialogue: Bad, Bad Dialogue.” http://theeditorsblog.net/2011/11/03/bad-dialogue-bad-bad-dialogue/

3. Bridget. Now Novel.  “Writing Dialogue: 7 Examples of Dialogues That Work: https://www.nownovel.com/blog/writing-dialogue-examples/

4. Campus Times Pune. “15 Hollywood Movie Dialogues That Will Just Knock You Over:”
https://www.campustimespune.com/evergreen-hollywood-movie-dialogues/

5. Changing Minds.org. “Basic Emotions:
“http://changingminds.org/explanations/emotions/basic%20emotions.htm

6. Diana Urban. “Words You Should Cut from Your Writing Immediately:” https://dianaurban.com/words-you-should-cut-from-your-writing-immediately

7. Ekman, P. (1972). Universals and Cultural Differences in Facial Expression of Emotion. In J. Cole ed. Nebraska Symposium on Motivation. Lincoln, Nebraska: University of Nebraska Press, 207-283.

8. Ekman, P., Friesen, W. V., & Ellsworth, P. (1982). What emotion categories or dimensions can observers judge from facial behavior? In P. Ekman (Ed.), Emotion in the human face (pp. 39-55). New York: Cambridge University Press.

9. Frederic Raphael. “Frederic Raphael’s Top 10 Talkative Novels:”
https://www.theguardian.com/books/2010/mar/09/frederic-raphael-talkative-novels

10. Gloria Kempton. “How to Balance Action, Narrative and Dialogue in Your Novel:”  http://www.writersdigest.com/writing-articles/by-writing-goal/write-first-chapter-get-started/how-to-balance-action-narrative-and-dialogue-in-your-novel

11. Jeff Elkins. “How to Write Dialogue without Using Adverbs:” https://thewritepractice.com/dialogue-adverbs/

12. Joanna Penn. 9 Easily Preventable Mistakes Writers Make with Dialogue:” https://www.thecreativepenn.com/2012/10/04/dialogue-mistakes/

13. Juan Orellana “The 20 Best Dialogue Scenes in Cinema History:” http://www.tasteofcinema.com/2016/the-20-best-dialogue-scenes-in-cinema-history/

14. Judy Cullins.  “How to Spice Up Your Writing with Dialogue:” https://thatactionguy.wordpress.com/2008/09/13/how-to-spice-up-your-writing-with-dialogue/

15. Monica. “What, Technically, is a “Beat” in a Screenplay?”
http://www.screenwriter-to-screenwriter.com/2009/06/what-technically-is-a-beat-in-a-screenplay/

16. Public Domain Books. Gutenberg Project. “Moby Dick:” http://www.gutenberg.org/files/2701/2701-h/2701-h.htm#link2HCH0001

17. Quora forum. “Which Is the Most Inspirational Hollywood Movie Dialogue Ever?”https://www.quora.com/Which-is-the-most-Inspirational-Hollywood-Movie-dialogue-ever

18. Scott Francis. Writer’s Digest. “The 5 Best Ways to Make Your Characters Conversations Seem Real:”
http://www.writersdigest.com/uncategorized/writing-dialogue-the-5-best-ways-to-make-your-characters-conversations-seem-real 

19. Wikihow. “How to Format Dialogue in a Story:” https://www.wikihow.com/Format-Dialogue-in-a-Story 

20. Wikipedia. “List of Emotions:” https://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_emotions

 

Never Give Up
Joan Y. Edwards, Author
Copyright © 2009-2022 Joan Y. Edwards

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Health, Writing

Make Your Character’s Actions Show Emotions

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“Make Your Character’s Actions Show Emotions” by Joan Y. Edwards

When you were in grade school, your teachers probably told you to tell the emotions of the character. You probably wrote simple emotion words. She was mad, frightened, happy, excited, etc. This pleased your teachers. Now, as a professional writer, that’s no longer an acceptable option in the final version to submit to a publisher. What do you do now?

In Wikipedia Richard Lazarus’ theory states that emotion is a disturbance that happens like this:

  1. What’s Happening? What does it mean to you? This cues the mind to choose an emotion.
  2. Your Body Changes according to the emotion chosen to suit the situation: increased heart rate, and adrenalin to handle the situation – fight or flight.
  3. Action – The person feels the emotion and chooses how to react.

Sometimes our mind makes mistakes with its reasoning. Motivational speakers tell stories about people who worry themselves to death. They also tell how if you’re afraid of something, your fear will attract it to you. On Snopes I found the legend Bob Proctor told about a man who got locked inside a refrigerated train car. He thought he was freezing. He wrote a note telling his family and friends  how he was freezing and  his fingers and toes were numb. What he didn’t realize was that yes, he was in a refrigerated car, but it wasn’t activated. It was 65 degrees in there. Be careful what you believe. Anchor your beliefs in truth.

Even though you and the man down the street have the same experiences, it doesn’t compute in your minds the same way. Your gut reaction is not the same. It’s also true about husbands and wives, best friends, and co-workers. What you believe about your experiences, determines your emotions. That is powerful. The same thing is true for each of your characters. In your story, if you put 42 people on a bus and it wrecks, not all of them will react in the same way. They are all sitting in a different seat on the bus. They would also have 42 different opinions. As a result, they could have 42 different emotions triggered by the wreck. They could act 42 different ways.

Below are five examples of what I call “Plain Jane” telling sentences, followed by five “Dazzling Dan” sentences showing the effects of the emotion – the actions.

1. Amanda was angry.
Amanda screamed. She picked up the tall trash can with the foot-long rat in it and threw it down the steps and slammed the door. No rat was going to stay in her apartment without paying rent.

2. Steven was tired.
Toothpicks propped Steven’s eyes open and his shoulders drooped to the floor, but he stayed up to watch the voting results on the midnight news.

3. Bruce was happy.
Bruce danced around the coach. He smiled and gave high-fives to his teammates.

4. Olivia was sad.
Olivia sat in a chair covered with a week-old newspaper with the obituary page over her face. She pitched a fourth empty box of tissues on the floor. She pushed the button on her stereo to play the same song she listened to all night: “When the Roll Is Called Up Yonder.”

5. Tom was scared.
Tom closed the blinds. He checked the locks three times. He hid under his bed and prayed what he hoped was not his last prayer.

Check your manuscripts using Search and Find for the regular emotion words: joy, sorrow, fear, hate, angry, sad, joyful, afraid, fearful, hate, etc. While writing, pretend that you and your characters are playing “Charades.” You can’t say the “emotion” word. You can only act it out. Make your character’s actions show their emotions.

Thank you for reading this blog post. If you leave a comment or even better, share one of your “Plain Jane” sentences and its revised “Dazzling Dan” version before midnight April 26, 2013, I’ll put your name in a hat to win a free pitch and 1000 word critique or a free copy of my world-famous picture book, Flip Flap Floodle. I’ll use Random.org to choose the winner.

Good luck with all your writing endeavors and every phase of your life.

Accept yourself as you are. Celebrate you every day.
Never Give Up
Joan Y. Edwards

Copyright © 2013 Joan Y. Edwards