Tag Archives: co-workers

Health, Spiritual

Who Is in Your Corner?

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“Who Is in Your Corner?” by Joan Y. Edwards

During my 79 years of living, I’ve gone through tough times. You’ve gone through tough times, too. If you’re going through an especially difficult time right now, I hope this will help put a smile back in your spirit. I hope you’ll realize that there are more people in your corner supporting you than you may realize.

Problems can be physical, mental, emotional, social, financial, spiritual or a combination of all of these. Write down the name of the people in your corner. The people you know love you and are willing to help you in any way that they can.

FAMILY

You may or may not have family members to support you. It’s a bummer If you don’t feel close to your family. I am fortunate. I have family members who love me.

What do your family members do to help you? Do they listen? Do they call you? Do they visit you?

FRIENDS

Sometimes you have problems that you don’t feel comfortable sharing with your family. Sometimes you feel more at ease with friends. You may find it easier to share problems with your friends. Friends are people who accept you as you are. They are willing to listen to you without judgment.  Write down the names of the friends who are willing to help you. Write down three things your friends do to help you.

PROFESSIONALS (DOCTORS, NURSES, DENTISTS, PHARMACISTS, COUNSELORS, MECHANICS, LAWN MOWERS, GARDENERS, TRANSPORTATION)

Sometimes you need to talk with a professional about a problem. Other times you may want to hire a professional to do a job you no longer want to do or you find you don’t have the energy, skill, or time to do it for yourself. You can hire people to mow your grass, weed your garden, clean your house, fix your car, tow your car, fix your plumbing, wash your hair, do your nails, or cut down trees. Let’s face it. Today you can hire people to do any job you need done. Many are at reasonable prices. Sometimes people will trade off. You do something for them. They do something for you.

Which professionals do you use to help you? What do they do to help support you? Which professionals could you use to help you now?

PEOPLE AT WORK

Co-workers and the people you meet through your job may be part of your support group.  What do people at work and those you met through your job at work do to help you? Name three people from work and how they help support you.

COMMUNITY

There are lots of resources in communities. Call your local county or city phone number. Tell them what you need. They’ll help direct you to the help you need. Many times after major floods, fires, and other kinds of natural disasters groups of people from different non-profit groups come in to help communities help their members in distress.

Churches

Many churches offer help to their parishioners and to others in their communities who need help with everyday problems in times of great distress. Which church groups help you now. Which ones are you going to research for help? Write down three kinds of help you need, who might be able to do it, and their contact information. Write down their response.

YOU

 

For me, this is your base support. Love yourself. Believe in you. Trust that you are going to achieve your goals. Believe that you already have the skills or will learn the skills you need to survive.

You may have an overactive inner critic who gives you a hard time about everything you say and do. At times, it does not support you. When that happens to me, I go to the door and say, “Get out inner critic and don’t come back.”

Of course, my inner critic sneaks back in, but he behaves himself for awhile.

What do you do to help yourself? Write down three things you do to help yourself physically, mentally, socially, spiritually, and financially. Write down three ways you could show more support for yourself.

GOD, YOUR CREATOR

God is your main supporter. He created you with the ability to learn what you’ve learned. He created you to defeat the problems that creep into your life. He believes in you. He trusts you to be the best that you can be. He wants you to ask him for his help. He is always there for you.

“Ask and you shall receive.” Mark 11:24

“Believe and it will be done unto you.” Matthew 9:29

“But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded.” 2 Chronicles 15:7

Write down three things God has done to help you. Write down three things you would like for God to do to help you.

I hope reading this has given you a new way of looking at your situation. I hope that my post helped you realize that there are more people in your corner supporting you than you thought.

Please leave a comment. I enjoy hearing from you. I am in your corner. I asked God to bless you in a special way so that you realize how much he loves you!

Believe in you.
Never Give Up
Joan Y. Edwards
Copyright © 2019 Joan Y. Edwards

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Health, Writing

Push and Pull of Trust and Distrust

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“Push and Pull of Trust and Distrust” by Joan Y. Edwards

Trust and distrust cause a big push and pull in relationships. Google says that trust is a firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something. In your writing, you may be able to use the trust/distrust tendencies of human nature to add a little intrigue and interest in a character or situation in your story. Trust creates limitless possibilities with relationships with yourself, significant others (family, friends, and co-workers). It gives you confidence and helps you remain calm. On the other hand, distrust rips you apart emotionally. Your confidence disappears. Your hope for the future is tainted by worry and unrest.

Are you paranoid about trusting others? What causes you to distrust others?

If your caregivers were not dependable when you were a baby or a young child, you may have more problems trusting people than a child whose parents were dependable and trustworthy. I think sometimes you don’t trust yourself and therefore you don’t trust others in the same area. If you can’t trust yourself to do what you say you are going to do, you may not trust anyone else to do what they say they are going to do. If you lie all the time, you might have a hard time believing that others are telling the truth.

You can answer these first six questions about yourself to see if there are things you might want to work on improving your trust in yourself and others. Or ask these questions about one of the characters you are using in a story. I reworded Martha Beck’s questions from her Huffington Post article to make it personal.

If your answer is “Yes” to the following questions, then you probably trust yourself

1. Do you show up on time?

2 Do you do things when you say you’re going to do them?

3. When you describe an event, it is correct? Does it match the information others give about it?

If your answer is “YES” to the following questions, you probably don’t trust yourself in this area.

4. Do you lie to people or assume that others will help you deceive another person?

5. Do you ever withhold information to make things go more smoothly or to avoid conflict and confrontation?

6. Do you ever lie, cheat, be unkind or do other things that you would condemn another person for doing the same thing?

A new experience that causes you to distrust a significant person in your life can rip you apart emotionally. It causes pain. The closer the person is to you and the more you trusted them before this event, the bigger the rip is to your heart.

Brandon Smith shared signs that you can’t trust your co-workers in an article on his blog:  http://theworkplacetherapist.com/signs-you-cant-trust-your-co-workers/. I reworded them here. You can assign these traits to the antagonist or villain in your story and create tension galore for your main character. It could rip him apart.

Signs of Distrust in a Co-Worker

  • Is dishonest and never truthful.
  • Does not always do what he says he will do
  • Usually doesn’t carry out the responsibilities of his job.
  • Makes it harder for you to succeed by keeping vital information from you
  • Gets irritable when you or others get in his workspace.
  • Sees you as a threat to his job.
  • Acts jealous of you and your job in the company
  • Wants your job or wants to replace you with one of his favorite employees.
  • Deliberately destroys, damages, or obstructs your success

Signs of Distrust in the Workplace

  • Everyone secures their desks and offices with locks or security systems.
  • If you leave food in the break room area, it is never there when you go back for it.
  • Fellow employees gossip constantly about you and other employees.
  • Criticism is widespread at work. No one receives praise for doing a good work or showing outstanding effort.
  • An employee who is having a hard time with his job never receive help or extra training to complete a project.
  • Workers set out to beat other employees in any manner possible, even if it is unethical, illegal, or cruel.
  • Your boss gives special favors to employees he likes.
  • You do not know your job responsibilities as they keep changing according to the whim of your boss.
  • Your boss is never pleased with any part of your performance even when you complete all the work as outlined in your contract successfully and even do extra things beyond the call of duty that help your workplace.
  • (I added this one) Your boss takes credit for your ideas.

Is your relationship with your partner defined by honesty and dependability—or suspicion and betrayal? To help you decide, use the quiz at the University of California, Berkeley Greater Good Berkeley: http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/quizzes/take_quiz/5

Resources

  1. Brandon Smith. “Signs You Can’t Trust Your Co-Workers:” http://theworkplacetherapist.com/signs-you-cant-trust-your-co-workers/.
  2. Encyclopedia of Mental Disorders. “Paranoia:” http://www.minddisorders.com/Ob-Ps/Paranoia.html
  3. Greater Good Berkeley.Edu. University of California, Berkeley.  “Relationship Trust Quiz.” http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/quizzes/take_quiz/5
  4. Kendra Cherry. “Trust Versus Mistrust:” http://psychology.about.com/od/psychosocialtheories/a/trust-versus-mistrust.htm
  5. Martha Beck. Huffington Post. “Simple Test Reveals If Someone Is Trustworthy:” http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/16/trust-issues-dependable-relationships_n_4098395.html

Thank you for reading my blog. I hope I have helped you discover many reasons to trust yourself and many ways to show the villains in your stories can’t be trusted. How do you decide whether to trust someone? Please tell me in a comment.

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Never Give Up
Joan Y. Edwards, Author
Copyright © 2014-2019 Joan Y. Edwards
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