Are You Barely Hanging On?

“Are You Barely Hanging On?” by Joan Y. Edwards

Thank you, Pixabay.

AreAre you barely hanging on? Is your Velcro grip slipping? I hope you get the peace of mind that you need to hang on. I hope you find the peace for which you search. I can tell you this. It’s going to get better.

What will make it better? 

Your attitude and mindset will make it better. Changing your expectations and accepting things as they are now will make it better. If someone has hurt you, you’re not accepting that it was right for them to hurt you. What you are accepting is that you are hurt and you can’t undo the hurt, but you can change the way you think and act in the future. The key to changing emotion is motion. Moving your body will make it better. Taking 10 minutes of positive action will make it better.

Tony Robbins says, “… all emotions serve you…negative emotions are merely calls to action. For example, if you feel frustrated it means that you believe things could be better, and they’re not. This is a call to action telling you there’s something you must do to make this better now. 

Here are 7 Suggestions to gain wisdom and calmness to help you through this struggle to survive what happened.

  1. Take a deep breath.

    Say aloud three things for which you are thankful.

    Straighten up the clothing in your chest of drawers.

  2. Take a deep breath.

    Say aloud three people you are thankful are your friends.

    Walk around the house three times.

  3. Take a deep breath.
    Say aloud. God I need you now.
    Lay down and take a short nap.

  4. Take a deep breath.
    Say aloud 3 things you’d like to get done today.
    Sing your favorite song.

  5. Look in the mirror. Take a deep breath.

    Say aloud. I am good-looking!

    Give yourself a thumbs up sign.

  6. Look in the mirror. Take a deep breath.

    Say aloud. I forgive myself and others. I wipe the slate clean.

    God wipes my slates clean.

  7. Take a deep breath.

    Name 3 things that are fun for you.

    Do one of them today as soon as you can.

Accept the things you cannot change. The Serenity Prayer may help you. You cannot change someone else. Many times you cannot even change yourself. However, when you accept yourself or situations as they are, you can often see what you can do to make the situation better for you.

Forgive yourself and others. There is a lot going on in your life right now. There are so many things going on that you think you’ve lost control of your life. You hear about other people’s problems, too. That compounds the pressure inside your brain. Many things are going wrong in our world today.

Keep on going. You can do this. Detoxify tense subjects inside your brain, so that the next time you think about this subject, you are calm and peaceful.  The Lord’s Prayer is calming for me.

When you resist the pressures put on you by yourself or others. C.G. Jung reminds us that what we resist lives on and on and on. In other words, “What we resist persists.” What we focus on, we are going to get more of. We attract what we think about…what we are worried about. Perhaps say the opposite of what you’ve been saying. Instead of I am a dumb clutz, say, I am graceful and keep my balance.

What problem are you resisting? Brianna Wiest says that what you see as wrong in others may be something wrong in yourself that you’ve overlooked.

Perhaps you’ve been listening to others and no one’s been listening to you. Each time you talk to someone who has terrible stuff going on, you get more depressed. That’s not right. It shouldn’t be happening that way.  You are not responsible for other people’s problems, including your parents, your spouse, your brother, or your sister. Each of you is responsible for your own problems.

Kirsten Lind Seal says, “Don’t put all your expectations for socializing, love, and affection into your marriage. Don’t spend 100% of the time with each other. Communication is key. Be kind about it.”

God may not come early, but He won’t be late. Based on 2 Peter 3

Remember that God expects you to trust Him absolutely even in hopeless situations. John 11:40

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Thank you for reading my blog. I hope you’ll share with me and other readers how you calm yourself when you are upset.  I hope my suggestions and resources help you. Resources follow my signature.

Never Give Up
Joan Y. Edwards, Author
Flip Flap Floodle
Joan’s Elder Care Guide

Copyright © 2019 Joan Y. Edwards

Resources

  1. Abigail Brenne. Amanda Linehan. “35 Quick Ways to Find Yourself Again?” https://amandalinehan.com/35-quick-ways-to-find-yourself-again/

  2. Brianna Wiest. “18 Ways to Detox Your Mind without Having to Go Completely Off the Grid:” https://thoughtcatalog.com/brianna-wiest/2015/07/18-ways-to-detox-your-mind-without-having-to-go-completely-off-the-grid/

  3. Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. “Boundaries in Marriage – Not Responsible for Your Mate:” https://www.boundariesbooks.com/boundaries-in-marriage/not-responsible-for-your-mate/

  4. Jeanette Bridoux. “How To Change Your Mindset for Better Relationships With Others & Yourself:” https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=41&v=EZ958J066iMHN

  5. Joyce Meyer. “Hang in There. Help is on the Way:” https://joycemeyer.org/everydayanswers/ea-teachings/hang-in-there-help-is-on-the-way

  6. Kirsten Lind. “How to Manage Marriage after Retirement:” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Ago8CUH9a0

  7. Linda Esposito. “3 Essential Exercises to Calm Anxiety:” https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/anxiety-zen/201701/3-essential-exercises-calm-anxiety

  8. “Marriage VLog: When Expectations Wreck Your Marriage:” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWF0RIdffGI

  9. Newlyweds Dish. “How Do You Split Up the Marriage Roles in Your House?” https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=45&v=gow2cQPI86Q

  10. Noam Shpancer Ph.D. “Action Creates Emotion:” https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/insight-therapy/201010/action-creates-emotion

  11. Reinhold Niebuhr. “Serenity Prayer:” Serenity Prayer – Wikipedia

  12. Tanya J. Peterson. “Ways to Cope with Anxiety:” https://www.healthyplace.com/self-help/anxiety/coping-skills-for-anxiety-ways-to-cope-with-anxiety

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16 thoughts on “Are You Barely Hanging On?”

  1. Joan,
    Tony Robbins’ call to action is what I find myself doing when I see that I could have handled a situation better. Your joke about your velcro grip slipping made me chuckle. Your suggestions of prayer, praise, reading God’s word, and staying busy help me too. Thank you for this blog post.

    1. Dear Linda,
      Thank you for writing. Thanks for sharing that Tony Robbins’ call to action is what you find yourself doing at times. I’m glad the post helped you! That is my goal.

      Do something fun for you
      It’ll change your perspective
      Joan Y. Edwards

  2. Excellent post, Joan. Thank you for using one of my all too endangered friends for your top illustration. 🙂
    Your recommended actions are all effective, and according to positive psychology research. I tend to put the same points in different words, but it is the same message.
    Stay as you are,
    Bob

    1. Dear Bob,
      Thank you for writing. I’m glad you thought my post was excellent. You’re welcome for my using a Pixabay illustration of an endangered koala bear. I’m glad that you say my recommended actions are all effective, are positive psychology, and what you would advise only in different words. Pretty cool!

      Do something fun to celebrate you today!
      Never Give Up
      Joan Y. Edwards

  3. I love the “God may not come early, but He won’t be late.” Made me smile. His timing is perfect. Thanks, Joan. haven’t seen you on the blogosphere in awhile!

    1. Dear Carol,
      Thank you for writing. My grandmother, Margaret Meyer, used to say this: God said he’d never give us more than we can handle. But she said, “Sometimes he comes mighty close.” I’m glad you liked the quote: “God may not come early, but He won’t be late.” This quote based on 2 Peter 3 reminded me of my grandmother’s quote. And to remind me that God will help me. Sometimes people (including me) get in the clutches of despair and forget that. I’ve been traveling a little here and there. It’s been fun.

      Do something fun before midnight tonight!
      Never Give Up
      Joan

    1. Dear Joan Reid,
      Thank you for writing. It is great to hear from you. I’m glad my post is helping you. I am praying for you! You are a blessing to me!

      Do something fun to celebrate you!

      Never Give Up
      Joan

  4. Dear Joan,
    First, I love your picture of koala and the idea of our ” …Velcro slipping” They both definitely can represent my last few months. Thank you for your inspiring suggestions. Taking a deep few breaths always begins to help me release whatever is stressing me. It reminds my brain to stop whirring in the negative places and center on one small way of giving me some moments of peace. I love what you said about thinking of people you are thankful for and saying “God I need you now” I’m working on trying to go to God first instead of waiting until I’m deeply frazzled after thinking I could/should do it by myself. Your posts always comfort and inspire me. Thank you ❤

    1. Dear Kathleen,
      It is so good to hear from you. I’m glad you liked the Koala picture. I got it from Pixabay. They are so awesome. Allowing people to use their images for free! I’m glad taking deep breaths seems to help you. Great! God wants to be included in our lives. He loves us and wants to help us. How great God is that He had me to meet you. I am a lucky lady.

      Never Give Up
      Joan

    1. Dear Shawn,
      Thanks for writing. I’m glad you believe my tips are wonderful in “Are You Barely Hanging On?” I hope you don’t get to feeling down, but I hope my ideas help you if you get in a low spot. Thanks for being a loyal reader of my blog!

      Do something fun for you today before midnight!
      Never Give Up
      Joan

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